Rise of the Phoenix(Remus Lupin's Story)
by Ocean Eyed Redhead
Summary: The story of Remus Lupin as he becomes a member of the Order of the Phoenix and the Order rises.
1. Chapter 1-Goodnight, Mr Lupin

**Chapter One**

**Goodnight, Mr. Lupin**

Remus Lupin had graduated Hogwarts only three years ago. In two more years, Albus Dumbledore would provide him with a faux degree from Oxford University in the education field. Soon after that he would begin searching for a teaching job at a Muggle school. He considered himself fairly lucky for a werewolf. Especially since now he didn't have to spend his full moons in the dark and dank Shrieking Shack. Sirius was off traveling. Peter interning at the Prophet. Lily and James living the newlywed life. Remus? All alone working in a bookstore beneath his apartment.

Though his life was reasonably solitary, Remus didn't quite mind. He saw his friends and father on occasion and Saint Mungos had recently opened a Full Moon Clinic. They were the only ones that tolerated the existence of werewolves really. An anonymous benefactor had donated a large sum to install numerous padded chambers in a newly built wing of the hospital. There was a lottery of those on the Werewolf registry each month to see who would get the privilege of residing in one of the cells on the full moon. After the full moon the Healers of the hospital would tend to the wounds of all the werewolves and send them on their way.

The only reason the Ministry tolerated this new system was because it urged unlisted werewolves to step forward. They would receive the brand on their chest and the judgment of society along with it. Perfect for the Minister of Magic and those who followed the beliefs of Julius Umbridge and his strong credence that werewolves should be exterminated.

When Remus was unfortunate enough to lose the lottery, he was able to go to the Shrieking Shack for refuge. Yes, he was alone now. No Prongs, Padfoot or Wormtail to aide him. It was alright though. He was managing fine.

Tonight, Remus had been blessed and received a cell at the Full Moon Clinic. He walked into the hospital with his backpack in hand. The contents were sparse for now. Just a wallet and change of underwear. Right before the moon reached its zenith Remus would deposit his clothing into his bag, place it in the wall compartment and not remove it until morning.

Then his wounds would be tended to by a Healer and be ushered out of Saint Mungos to rest at home for the next eighteen hours. Then it would be back to the bookstore.

Remus entered the hospital and gave a sheepish smile to the Healer at the desk. Whenever Remus entered a look of relief would wash over her face. Like many of the Healers at Saint Mungos, Remus had a special place in her heart. Nothing romantic. They just all admired his cautious optimism and the grateful smiles he offered upon his entrances and exits.

"Evening, Mr. Lupin," she grinned curtsying from behind her large white desk.

"Hey, Marlene."

She waved to Remus and watched somberly as he made his way towards the Full Moon Wing.

He arrived at the Full Moon Wing to see the dozens of werewolves enrolled in the lottery being shown to their individual cells. In a little over thirty minutes they would all be in excruciating pain as they transformed. Men and women alike. The more recently turned were weeping not only in fear but in agony. The last day before the transformation was increasingly painful with each hour. Remus had learned to cope but it had taken him over a decade.

"Mr. Lupin, you're in number fifty-four," smiled Madame Higgins appearing before him.

"Thanks very much. How's your son by the way?" asked Remus.

Madame Higgins sighed checking Remus's name off the list of attendees. She rolled her tired eyes, the lines on her face deepening.

"Oh, keeping out of trouble. O.W.L.s are coming up and he is incredibly stressed. Especially over anything to do with Transfiguration."

"Transfiguration? He's nervous about Transfiguration? His mother works with werewolves," Remus said with a light laugh.

Madame Higgins laughed softly.

"You'd think so. He says it's more of the mechanics of the things, not the basic facts. Honestly, I can't help there," she exhaled.

Remus pointed at her, an epiphany striking him.

"You should have him check out Tristan Destelle's Modern Transfiguration. I mean, it came out in 1928 so it's not quite so 'modern' but it clearly states the mechanics of Transfiguration. There's a lot of visual aids. Diagrams, sketches of the process, everything. My friend had difficulty with Transfiguration. He got an E on that section of his O.W.L.s."

Madame Higgins smiled warmly at Remus.

"Tristan Destelle's Modern Transfiguration. I will have to let him know. Thank you, Remus."

"Anytime. See you tomorrow morning."

He walked down the hall of cells with their meat locker-like doors and windowless rooms that were only five by eight feet of padded walls, floors and ceiling. Remus despised the fact that after almost three years of attending this clinic, he still hadn't gotten used to weeping of his fellow poor souls. It still broke his heart.

Remus finally found his cell, number fifty-four. He entered with a sigh and slumped onto the floor, his back crying out in pain. Remus tilted his head back against the wall drawing in slow breaths. He clenched his fists and shut his eyes. The bright, fluorescent lights were giving him a headache. Something needed to be done about those.

"Mum, please don't leave me. Please, can't you stay?" a child's voice pleaded.

Remus's brows furrowed in concern. He hadn't seen a child around here in quite some time.

"Mummy can't stay, darling. I'm so sorry, but I'll be here in the morning. I promise."

"No, no! Don't go!" moaned the child.

"I'm so sorry, Miss, but I'm afraid you must leave. It's getting very close. We'll take wonderful care of Andrew," a Healer said kindly.

The child cried harder.

"Mummy, I'll be all alone! I don't know anyone!" he sobbed.

Remus could stand it no longer. He pushed himself to his feet, gritting his teeth as pain surged through him. Remus walked with feigned conviction to the doorway of his cell and braced his hands on the sides, leaning his head out. A frail looking woman was kneeling in front of a small boy. He hid his face in her chest, shoulders heaving as he bawled uncontrollably.

"Mummy has to go now, Andrew. I'm so sorry."

She gently pried him off of her, weeping.

"Hey," Remus said quietly.

The boy looked up at Remus, his eyes red and puffy. His mother's eyes widened as she gazed at Remus in disbelief. Though most of the people here were decent and civil, some of the characters were rather sketchy. Perhaps that was why Andrew's mother looked so relieved to see him. The most unusual thing about Remus aside from his numerous scars was that his young face and hair, though thick, messy and youthful, was very lightly flecked with grey. He offered a slightly cheerful grin and waved at her weakly.

Remus walked, lazily out of his cell.

"May I?" he asked quietly.

Her mouth opened and shut as she searched for an answer. Remus took it as a yes and knelt before Andrew.

"Hey. Andrew, was it?"

The boy nodded, clutching a photo to his chest. He couldn't have been more than five.

"I'm Remus. Is this your first time?"

Andrew nodded again.

"Well, I heard you saying that you were going to be all alone tonight. That's not true. Know why?"

"Wh-why?" stammered the boy.

Remus leaned forward slightly, the boy flinched slightly making Remus chuckle.

"Because you just met me! Now we know each other. We're friends. As long as I'm here you're not going to be alone. In fact," Remus said patting the doorframe of his own cell. "I'll be right next door to you the whole night. I'll even see you tomorrow. Is that good? Sound better?"

"Yes," Andrew said in a voice that was barely audible.

Remus stood with a grunt and faced his mother. The Healer stood with her head bowed in silence.

"Hi, I'm Remus Lupin. I've been a werewolf since I was about five so I've got a decent amount of experience with what he's going through. I know we've only just met and if you want me to back off and leave Andrew alone I completely understand. I just know how difficult it is to be alone during this time and if he…well, if he needs a friend," offered Remus.

The mother's eyes welled with tears and she looked indecisively from Remus to her son.

"If I may, Miss, Mr. Lupin is quite an honorable young man. Almost top of his class at Hogwarts and generally known here for being the most kind of our residents. I believe your son would greatly benefit from Mr. Lupin's assistance," the Healer interjected.

Remus knew her face but not her name, he managed to thank her with an appreciative nod all the same.

Without warning, the mother threw her arms around Remus and cried into his chest. He awkwardly returned her embrace.

"Thank you. Please take care of him," she sniffled, pulling herself from Remus's arms.

Remus shrugged, smiling at her warmly.

Andrew's mother knelt before him.

"Andrew, Remus is going to stay with you. He's going to take good care of you until I come and get you tomorrow. Alright, my love?"

The boy nodded and hugged his mother, still crying but not quite as hard. She finally retreated from her son's embrace and was escorted away by the Healer.

"So, what's that photo you there?" asked Remus.

Andrew wiped his nose with the back of his hand and held the photo up to Remus. He took it and examined the photo. It was his mother and a man whom he assumed was Andrew's father, in the park with him. They were standing before a tree. His father pointed to the camera and they all three smiled.

"Your mum and dad?" clarified Remus returning the photo to Andrew.

"You're-you're a werewolf?" whimpered Andrew.

Remus laughed amusedly, leaning against the doorway. He ran his fingers through his hair with a small shrug.

"Yep. For a while now actually."

"And you still went to Hogwarts? They let you go? Or did you hide it from them?"

"They let me go."

Andrew's eyes filled with tears once more and her frowned up at Remus.

"Were people mean to you? Did you have any friends?"

"No. Not really. No one was mean to me. I had some very good friends. They still _are_ my friends."

"Do they know that you're…that you're a…a…"

"Do they know that I'm a werewolf? Yeah. Since my second year."

Andrew nodded, still gripping the photo to his chest. It could have been in his mind but Remus could have sworn that Andrew's eyes seemed to be a little more optimistic.

"Maybe…maybe I can go to Hogwarts…" murmured Andrew.

"Of course you can. I'm sure the Headmaster will be willing to help. Maybe I can talk to him."

Andrew smiled up at Remus hopefully.

"I'm glad we're friends, Remus. I like you very much," said Andrew pointedly.

"I like you too, Andrew."

Andrew hissed in pain and hugged his sides. Remus felt his brows knit together in sympathy. He bent at the waist so he was eye level with Andrew, ignoring his own pain.

"Here's a little tip for you that will help with the pain. If you go sit down and take in long deep breaths, like this," Remus explained, demonstrating with a deep inhale then slow exhale.

Andrew followed his example watching Remus intently.

"Feel better? Yeah?" smiled Remus.

Andrew nodded, slightly uncertain.

"Here's another trick, go sit down and keep breathing deeply and then think of your favorite memory or story or song then say it out loud. Sing it or say it, whatever you wish. It'll get your mind off the pain. I promise."

Andrew cried out again, his knees buckling. Remus quickly caught him before he could hit the ground. He gently brought Andrew into his cell and placed him gingerly on the floor, his head laying limply on the wall.

"Do you know the tale of The Troll and the Tree?"

Andrew nodded.

"I don't remember it much, Remus."

"Oh, well let me remind you," Remus replied biting back the urge to grunt loudly in anguish. "There was a Troll that was very lonely. He was upset because his family had gotten lost in the forest so he went looking for them. He looked for days but they never showed up. The Troll decided that he would have to make friends if he didn't want to stay lonely so he wen-"

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Lupin but it is time for you to return to you own cell. It's almost time," the Healer from before said.

Remus nodded.

"Alright, Andrew, you finish what you can remember of the story and I will see you in the morning. Remember to put your clothes and that photo in the cupboard, okay? So they don't get ruined," Remus stated.

Andrew nodded weakly and began mumbling the story to himself in between his deep breaths.

"Goodnight, Andrew," Remus groaned as he braced his hands on his knees to stand.

Remus exited Andrew's cell and began to head towards his own.

After fifteen more minutes, the Healers began to shut the doors and the cries of vicious agony rang out among the residents. Remus shut his eyes tight at the sound of Andrew shrieking in pain. The Healer arrived at Remus's cell.

"See you in the morning, Mr. Lupin," she said softly.

He nodded at her, drawing in deep breaths. His whole body ached as the transformation began to take its toll. The screams faded as she shut his door causing all of their distressed declarations to be muffled. Remus removed his clothing, each piece causing him to practically yell in pain at the physical effort being expelled.

"Okay, okay, okay, okay… Let's do it," Remus whispered to himself, crouching on the floor.

That usually helped the process go by easier. A hunched spine was easier to transform than an erect one.

And thus, Remus Lupin suffered once more. One of many nights to come.


	2. Chapter 2-Padfoot's Return

Chapter Two

There was a rapping on the door of Remus's cell that awoke him from his deep slumber. The transformation had ended an hour ago. Now the Healers would begin to tend wounds. Remus looked at his hands that had drops of blood on them. He looked at his left forearm that felt like it was on fire. There were four long gashes. Not an uncommon wound for him. His hand touched his face searching for the dampness of blood.

Finally, Remus discovered a small cut over his left brow.

'And there's another scar...' he thought with an irritated sigh.

After over a decade of being a werewolf, he had not grown used to the apparent scars upon his face. The ones on his arms, chest and legs were bearable, but the ones big and small that littered his face and neck upset him.

"Mr. Lupin? May I enter?"

He recognized the voice to be that of Yvonne Talon. A kind Healer with a young face. She'd only started about six months ago.

"One moment," he rasped.

He stood to his feet unsteadily and hobbled to the cupboard that contained his backpack. He unzipped it removing his underwear, t-shirt and trousers. Dressing, he tried not to look at his torso. He always managed to look emaciated no matter how much he ate.

"Alright, I'm decent," Remus grunted as he sat back on the floor.

The door unlocked with a loud click and he watched as Yvonne's delicate frame shoved open the heavy door with her shoulder. She carried a silver tray that held a few bottles, rags, bandages and dish of water.

Yvonne set it beside Remus gently and carefully maneuvered her long white dress beneath her as she knelt.

"No wounds on the chest or legs?" she confirmed picking up a rag.

Remus shook his head doing his best to keep his eyes open. He longed to pass out and sleep for hours, however he always refused to do so. At least until he got home.

"That's a nasty gash on your face," frowned Yvonne dampening a rag with water and rinsing away the blood.

She cleared off the blood from his arms and noticed a small patch of blood that had saturated his trousers. Probably from his arm wound.

"Mr. Lupin, you know that most patients remain nude for recovery. It helps them not to ruin their clothes. We wouldn't mind at all if you did the same."

"No. If I don't have a wound somewhere...I prefer to cover it up..."

"You're too prideful," Yvonne replied removing a new rag and dampening it with what Remus recognized to be the potion that sealed his wounds.

They would still scar being cursed, but they would also disappear.

"Perhaps. I'm a man. I like to appear like I have...a little testosterone. Though it is not easy," he replied, grinning sheepishly.

Yvonne bandaged his arm wound, fastening it just tightly enough.

"Alright, Mr. Lupin, you're free to go. Please say goodbye to Andrew. He's still asleep but I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing you before you cut out."

She removed her wand from her apron and pointed it to her medical supplies.

"Scourgify."

The rag disappeared of all blood and the water in the dish ran clear.

"I hope to see you next month, Mr. Lupin."

She gathered the tray and stood, leaving him in his company of the cell.

With a yawn, he grabbed his backpack and removed his weathered sweater. Slipping it on with a yawn, Remus placed the backpack on his shoulder and stood ignoring the agony that flowed throughout his body. He ruffled his hair that was matted with sweat so it didn't stick to his forehead and limped out of his cell.

Remus leaned in the doorway of Andrew's cell to see him whimpering, on the floor, he gripped his photo in his hand. Delilah, another Healer, was gently tending to his wounds-humming a song to him. Remus tried not to frown at all the bloody gashes and wounds on him. He knew from experience that the reactions of your peers could greatly influence your perception of the situation.

"Morning, Andrew," Remus managed to say.

Andrew's tearful eyes turned to Remus, his lower lip trembling. Remus half smiled at him.

"You sure are tough. Held up a lot better than me my first time," Remus remarked, softly.

Loud noises were a bad idea. Andrew definitely had a headache.

The corner of Andrew's lip lifted then went back down almost immediately.

"Maybe I'll see you next month?"

Andrew nodded, still silent.

Remus wanted to stay and comfort the poor boy. Inform him that everything would be fine. However, he was exhausted and could think of nothing more to say. His mother would arrive soon and she could definitely do a lot better than him at comforting Andrew.

"Bye," Remus said with a warm smile.

"Bye," replied Andrew in a voice just quiet enough for Remus to hear.

He knew why. Not only was it the pain but right now, the predatory hearing a werewolf possessed still lingered within Andrew. Everything he said would be louder to him for the rest of the day.

As he left Andrew, Remus recalled how difficult it was for him to deal with the heightened hearing for years. He'd only learned to ignore it a few years back.

"Bye, Mr. Lupin," Marlene said as he crossed towards the exit.

Remus smiled slightly.

"Marlene, when in the bloody hell do you get to go home?" he said hoarsely, pausing just before the double doors.

"Two hours. Overnight shift."

"Go to bed when you get home, Marlene."

Marlene laughed quietly, curtsying slightly.

"Of course, Mr. Lupin."

With a limp wave, Remus exited the hospital. It was time to catch the trolley back home.

"Moony!" a voice called.

Remus jumped slightly. A voice laughed. Remus knew that laugh.

He turned around slowly to see Sirius Black leaning lazily against a wall. He grinned.

"What in the bloody hell are you doing here? You aren't supposed to be back for another month," Remus smiled, his exhaustion fading.

"Eh, apparating everywhere cut me short. Been almost everywhere in one month. Thought I'd meet you here, maybe get you breakfast," shrugged Sirius.

Remus blanched at the very thought. His insides were still very sensitive due to the fact they'd just returned to human only hours ago. The idea of solid food made him nauseas.

"Or maybe some coffee or tea," Sirius suggested.

"Yeah, sure. You can tell me all about your exploits."

"That restaurant right around the corner then?"

Remus grimaced and gave Sirius a knowing look. He groaned impatiently.

"C'mon, Moony. You work in the muggle world so no one in the wizarding world outside me, James, Peter, the Ministry, your father and Saint Mungos know you're a werewolf! Take advantage of that for once," he smirked.

Remus tossed the idea around. It was true. He worked hard to keep his cover and lately, outside of the occasional dinner with the Potters or demolishing the Shrieking Shack with James once every other month, he had stayed disguised in the muggle world. A coffee with Sirius sounded like a safe way to get back into the routine. He had no doubt that now that Sirius was back he would be dragging him to dozens of pubs every night and introducing him to many women. Remus didn't know what was more important to Severus on those nights out. How pissed he could get or how many girls he could snog.

Remus continued to gnaw on his lower lip, contemplating the risk. Sirius sighed and rolled his dark eyes.

"Alright, fine. We'll go to one of your muggle places. Which one?"

"There's one near my flat. It'd be nice to be right by home so I can immediately go sleep afterwards," Remus remarked quietly.

"After you," Sirius said with a grin.

He placed a hand on Remus' shoulder, firmly. Remus closed his eyes and apparated them to a secluded alley just across the street from the diner.

Sirius peered at it, raising a brow.

It was a small, one story affair with a large neon sign perched above it reading in bright pink 'Lou's.'

Though not a true member of the Noble House of Black, Sirius had good taste.

Sirius and Remus fled the alley as rain began to fall, heading towards the haven of the restaurant.

They entered and approached the hostess. A young girl with a long blonde ponytail approached them with two menus in hand. She smiled brightly at Remus and then to Sirius. After only a second of looking at Sirius her expression turned bashful and her cheeks flushed.

"Uh, erm...two?" she confirmed pointing at the two menus.

"Yeah," Remus sighed amusedly.

She turned on her heel and escorted them to the end of the restaurant, placing them in a booth by the window. She distributed the menus and stood awkwardly as they slid into opposite sides of the booth.

"I'm Zoe and I'll be your server today...can I start you with a drink?" she asked quietly.

"Breakfast tea, that's it for me," Remus replied, sliding the menu back across the table to her.

She picked it up awkwardly then turned her eyes to Sirius. His eyes grazed over the menu swiftly and he extended it to her with a charming grin.

"I know what I'd like actually. A coffee and the scrambled eggs and sausage."

The waitress accepted the menu and nodded, walking away. Sirius eyed her as she entered the swinging doors of the kitchen behind the entrance podium. Remus laughed and rolled his eyes.

"You're relentless. Do you ever stop thinking about girls?"

"There'll be plenty of time not to think about girls in the future," Sirius replied dismissively.

His dark, calculating eyes turned to his fingers that were intertwined on the table before him. Remus immediately realized that Sirius had not returned early due to apparition helping him travel so quickly. He'd returned so soon because of something else. Something bigger.

"So, where all did you go?" Remus asked speculatively.

"Oh, you know... All about. I went to the States."

"Where in the states did you go? Elaborate," pressed Remus.

Remus knew this routine. He would figure out that Sirius was lying then smother him with questions as to the intimate details of his lie. All the while, Sirius would answer and slowly begin to dig himself into a hole. Remus felt that though Sirius would indulge him with intricate illustrations of his tale, he was subconsciously aware that Remus was onto him.

"Erm, well, first I went to California."

"Where?"

Sirius swallowed.

"Nowhere special."

Remus cocked a brow and smirked at him. Sirius could lie and charm his way out of any situation to absolutely anyone. Anyone but Remus. People always found it hard to lie to Remus. His eyes, often somber with wisdom beyond his years-were also very kind, as was his face. Lying to Remus was difficult simply because he was such a warm and honest person. When you lied to him, you instantly felt guilty.

The waitress returned and set two white ceramic mugs of steaming liquid before them. Remus still eyed Sirius, half amused-half intrigued.

"Your scrambled eggs and sausage should be ready shortly," she smiled.

She lingered momentarily as if waiting for Sirius to say something. Then, once more, she blushed and ran away.

"I never get tired of women doing that," Sirius chuckled as the waitress vanished into the kitchen.

"Don't change the subject. I have questions about your holiday."

Sirius looked at him, brows knitted in concentration, preparing for Remus's scrutiny.

"Did you go to Music City? The Big Apple?"

"Yes," Sirius replied too quickly.

"Where is Music City, Sirius?" Remus asked with a smirk.

Sirius blinked a few times and took a sip of his coffee. He released a sigh and set it back down, meeting Remus' stare with a grin.

"What gave me away?"

Remus lounged back and yawned loudly.

"You're horrible at lying to me... Also,

you said apparation is what helped you to travel so quickly. You went to North America. That's international apparation, which is..." prompted Remus.

Sirius shook his head, smacking his palm to his face.

"Illegal."

"Yes. Because it can cause severe splinching. We both know that you would never do anything to risk damaging your ever so handsome features," snorted Remus. "Should've said you took your motorbike."

Sirius groaned with light anger then shrugged pointedly.

Remus took a sip of his tea and ran his fingers through his mess of sweat and rain saturated hair.

"So, why are you really here?"

Sirius groaned quietly.

"I was really hoping to discuss this later, Moony."

"Go on. Who's gonna hear? This place is basically deserted and whoever here is a muggle," he insisted.

Sirius leaned forward on the table, Remus mirrored him.

"I was traveling about Dublin when one night, Dumbledore shows up at the inn where I'm staying, scaring off a pretty, little Irish thing I'm with! That's another story. Anyway, that Voldemort chap? Turns out he's got even more followers he had last year. He's actually starting to make headway."

Remus peered at Sirius, speculatively.

"Haven't we all agreed that he's just some radical? That this will all die out when the Ministry realizes they need to shut him down?"

Sirius shook his head gravely.

"He's not a radical anymore. Voldemort has sixty followers now...a number work in the Ministry."

Remus surveyed the area then looked back to Sirius.

"Well, what does Dumbledore want?"

"He's recruiting for a sort of army. He calls it The Order of the Phoenix. A lot of our old Hogwarts friends have accepted the invitation. Some Aurors have accepted too."

"The Ministry is allowing them to join a retaliation group?" he asked raising a brow.

Sirius purses his lips and gave Remus a knowing look. Remus leaned back against his seat and folded his arms.

"No one knows it exists, yeah?" he confirmed.

"Yeah. It's a secret organization. Not exactly legal."

Remus tossed the idea around. A secret order organized for the unauthorized overthrow of a potentially dangerous man? Surely no one else would join this Voldemort person. His ideas were beyond insane. Exterminate all muggles and mudbloods so all that is left are pure bloods. The thought was ludicrous. Surely people could see that.

Couldn't they?

"So, he's sent you to start gathering people?"

"Just you, Peter, Lily and James. The first meeting is four days from now."

Remus gnawed on his lower lip and stared at the table.

"Here you are, sir."

The waitress set down a plate with fluffy scrambled eggs and sausage before Sirius then fled the scene. Sirius didn't eat, he only eyed his friend. Remus didn't notice. His mind was racing with conflicting thoughts.

Accept the invitation and risk being found out? Or decline and let Dumbledore down.

On the one hand, he was already on very thin ice what with being a werewolf. If this illegal organization was discovered there was no doubt in Remus' mind that he would be sentenced to a life in Azkaban where he would be trapped with a manner of other werewolves. Werewolves who were there for crimes more horrifying than he could imagine.

From assault to murder to rape. He wouldn't last a day with them.

On the other hand, how could he reject Dumbledore? The man who was the entire reason he was able to attend Hogwarts. The man who even after Remus graduated was working towards him having a better future.

Then again, Dumbledore was a smart man. His plans hardly ever failed.

The answer was clear. Remus would join. He owed it not only to Dumbledore, but to himself to be something other than a young, moping werewolf.

"Alright, I'm in."

Sirius grinned.

"I knew you'd do it. Brave lad like yourself."

He scooped some eggs onto his fork and took a bite. Remus' insides churned at the idea of digesting food right now. He tore his eyes from Sirius' food and took a sip of his tea.

"Remus, I need your help getting Prongs, Wormtail and Peter to sign on too," Sirius said swallowing.

It was true. Sirius had barely convinced him. He would certainly need Remus' help if he were to attempt getting the rest of them to join on this rather dangerous endeavor.

The endeavor of being in the Order of the Phoenix.


	3. Chapter 3-His Humble Abode

**Chapter Three**

**His Humble Abode**

"So you work down there...and you live up there," clarified Sirius as he pointed from a feeble bookstore with displays of recent releases and classics.

"I do," he nodded.

They walked to a glass door on the right of the bookstore with a silver handle. Inside was a narrow staircase.

"Where are you off to?" asked Remus, pausing.

Sirius shrugged nonchalantly.

"Probably find an inn somewhere in Hogsmeade and get some rest."

Remus sighed, rolling his eyes and cocking a brow at Sirius.

"C'mon then," he smirked.

Sirius grinned and patted Remus on the back causing him to flinch. His body was still sore from the transformation. He quickly bit back the pain. Nothing was more humiliating than appearing weak to his friends. He couldn't allow it to show that the pain still affected him. Of course, Sirius saw right through it, though too kind to admit so.

Remus opened the glass door with a grunt and began to guide Sirius up the narrow staircase that lead to his apartment. Each step sounded a loud creak no matter how slight the amount of pressure applied was.

"Is that Mr. Remus Lupin, I hear?" a feeble woman's voice called.

Remus froze at the top of the stairs, cringing.

Miss Ross. She would now be her usual kind self while asking as to when his rent check (over a week overdue) would arrive at her door. He hated to postpone paying her. Miss Ross often checked to make sure that Remus had enough food and invited him to her apartment just down the hall for dinner. It never sat right with him to inconvenience Miss Ross, despite her understanding.

Perhaps it was his warm demeanor or Miss Ross' own loneliness that made her so kind towards Remus.

She hobbled out of the first door on the left, he long greying hair tied back in a loose bun. She smiled at Remus, her large green eyes were slightly narrowed in concentration. She raised her eyebrows and pointed to Sirius.

"Who's this one?" she asked with a welcoming smile.

"I'm Sirius Black. Remus' friend."

Sirius stepped around Remus and shook Miss Ross' thin hand.

"Welcome, Mr. Black. I'm Miss Ross. Remus' landlord. Did you have fun last night, Remus? Meet any beautiful ladies?" asked Miss Ross with a devilish smile.

Remus smiled sheepishly while Sirius snickered.

"Always, Miss Ross."

"I assume she took you to her place night. Remember to be careful. You never know who these ladies could really be, Mr. Lupin."

Remus nodded, smiling lopsidedly at her. There was an uncomfortable pause as the three exchanged awkward gazes.

"Erm, Miss Ross, I get paid this Friday so I'll have my check to you no later than that evening," he said rubbing the back of his neck.

Miss Ross pulled him into an embrace and patted his back before stepping back.

"That sounds good, Remus. Oh, tomorrow I'm making my beef stew. I know you like it. You should come over," she offered. "You're welcome to join him, Sirius."

"Oh, I couldn't. Neither can Remus actually. We both have to see some mutual friends. I'd love to join you both some other time though."

She waved her hand dismissively and drew her weathered, red shawl tighter about her shoulders.

"No matter. I'll save some for you both. Just stop by when you'd like it," she said with a nod.

Remus yawned hugely and pinched the bridge of his nose as his head began to pound and his eyes began to droop shut. Miss Ross frowned.

"Go get some rest, Mr. Lupin. Please, you look rather peaky."

Remus nodded at her.

"I'll see you later, Miss Ross."

"Of course. Sirius, it was a pleasure to meet you."

"And you, Miss Ross. I'm going to make sure that Remus gets some proper rest then."

"Please do."

Miss Ross turned from them with a final smile and entered her apartment.

"Which one is yours?" he asked.

"Second to last on the left," replied Remus.

Sirius placed his hands on Remus' shoulders and steered him towards his apartment. Remus pulled a keychain which held three silver keys. One vastly smaller than the other. They walked down the white hall with chipping paint and framed portraits of landscapes before arriving at Remus' apartment. The silver knob had a lock as did the small circle above it. Remus' unlocked the top lock then the bottom, inhaling deeply.

What would Sirius think? When he saw his squalid apartment that featured a couch, a bed, a Victrola, a bookcase and a broken down television on a coffee table all in one room. No pictures or posters or tacky decorations. Just the bare and-to put it kindly-affordable essentials. Granted the room was quite large, it still seemed rather drab. He could already feel the look of pity that Sirius would bestow upon him.

With a loud exhale, Remus opened the door and led Sirius in. To his surprise, Sirius walked right around him and threw himself on the weathered yellow sofa.

Then again, why was Remus surprised?

Sirius never cared about this stuff. If he did, he was doing a good job of hiding it. However, if Sirius saw the baron cabinets and fridge devoid of food then he might worry.

"G'night, Remus. Get some rest. This evening we're seeing Lily and James to talk about The Order then Dumbledore tomorrow," he grunted as he wriggled out of his large leather jacket. "Can you manage that?"

Remus let his bag fall off his shoulder and land on the wood panel floor with a smack.

"I have work until three but sure. I can go afterwards tomorrow."

"Brilliant," Sirius replied as he draped his jacket over his lean frame.

He settled into the moth eaten couch and instantly began snoring. Remus smirked, slipping out of his own coat and collapsing onto his quilt clad twin bed made of pine.

Usually, this was the part when he would fall asleep instantly and not wake up until six at night.

However, this time, his mind was reeling with thoughts. What did Dumbledore want him for? He wouldn't be present as often as the other Order members and if-Merlin, forbid-some sort of battle ensued what if it were on a full moon and he could contribute nothing.

There were a number of reasons Dumbledore would want him though.

He was intelligent, level-headed and good at reigning in people during chaotic situations. Not to mention the fact that Remus was a skilled dueler. Even more than Lily.

James and Sirius cast strong spells, powerfully and inflicted serious damage. However, to ensue those spells they would risk great peril by focusing solely on the spell at hand and not the counter curse it would require.

Remus, while not doing as much conventional damage, could finish off an opponent in three spells. Three quick ones. He'd open with a disarming incantation then a another to stop them in their tracks then one more to take the opponent out of the game or sometimes, much to his regret, killing them. He realized that strong spells did damage but the duel could take longer and was much more risky what with the danger of the spell backfiring and causing two much damage.

Remus was quick and slight and able to dodge spells if necessary making him the stronger opponent every time. He had never lost a duel. Well, except the time he had let James win in school to impress Lily. Other than that, never. In fact, winning a duel against Lucius Malfoy was still well remembered. After all, the fight had ensued over a small insult of Lucius saying that Remus' father was a 'has been failure and embarrassment to the Ministry' which would have never angered Remus without the full moon-which had been impending at that present time. The surrounding students had watched in awe as the most quiet and intelligent wizard at Hogwarts threw aside his book and leapt to his feet with such burning rage in his eyes that it stunned Lucius.

He had sent Lucius into the air with Levicorpus and dropped him in the fountain.

Rumors circulated for a while that Lucius had cried, which Remus still hadn't confirmed. He didn't like to recall the times that he had let the wolf take over his better judgment no matter how epically brilliant it may have been.

With a loud sigh, Remus rolled over on his side and shut his tight.

'Get some sleep, Remus...' he thought to himself.

Then he was overcome with sleep and dreamt of nothing.

*Maybe you've noticed that I've changed the name and description of this story. Please acknowledge that I do not plan on making this about Remus. This is the story of the first Order coming around. I do not claim that any of it is canon. A lot of info I got on members of the Order that JK doesn't specify are from fans. I also chose fan canon because this is written FOR fans. Anyway, and so it goes.*


	4. Chapter 4-The Potter's Surprise

**Chapter Four**

**The Potter's Surprise**

"Rise and shine, beautiful…" Sirius whispered, leaning over Remus' sleeping body.

"Ew…" groaned Remus.

He shut his eyes tighter and shook his head at Sirius' sweet nothing. Remus' tried desperately to remember the events that had ensued before he had fallen asleep.

'_Transformation… Sirius… Breakfast… Secret organization… Stay over… Lily and James… Ah, Lily and James…'_ recalled Remus, silently.

"What time is it?" Remus murmured unintelligibly.

"It's five-thirty in the evening. I told James and Lily we would be in Godric's Hollow by six-thirty. Do you still feel like you can come along, mate? Listen, I know I kind of pressured you into coming tonight, but Remus, I understand if you're still exhausted," Sirius offered.

Remus forced his eyes opened and inhaled deeply through his nose. He sat up, shaking his head in protest. Sirius stood above him with a glass of water. He extended it to him with an understanding smile.

"I'm coming. Dumbledore wanted me to be a part of this and so I will. Plus, if I sleep any longer I'll get on a reverse cycle and that will make going to work very hard," he grunted accepting the water and taking a sip.

"Are you sure, Moony?"

Remus sighed and set the glass of water on his bedside table. He swung his feet over the side of the bed and stood up, gesturing to himself from head to toe.

"I'm good as new. Let me get a shower and change clothes, then we'll go."

Remus headed towards his very cramped bathroom wordlessly.

"Hey, if you need motivation, Lily is making dinner!" called Sirius after him.

Remus scrubbed his entire body viciously as he often did after a full moon. His wound from the transformation stung as the hot water trailed down it. Remus stared at the shower head and let the water smack his face, sputtering out some. The more he washed himself, the less of the werewolf would be upon him. That's how he saw it at least. This was a consistent ritual after a transformation.

The tension in his muscles relaxed ever so slightly as the warm drops cascaded down his back. It was a barely perceptible change, but all the same, it felt nice. He would take whatever relief he could get, no matter how small.

After twenty minutes, Remus turned off the shower and focused on not slipping as he stepped onto the white tiled floor. He dried himself with a grey towel riddled with holes that had at one point in its life, been white. The mirror had fogged up and he did not attempt to rectify the issue by wiping it clear. Seeing his reflection was the last thing he wanted so he brushed his teeth blindly with nothing but the flickering overhead light to guide him.

A quarter after six, Remus had finished cleaning himself off and exited the restroom to see Sirius lounging on the couch watching Muggle news with a bottle of Firewhiskey in hand. Remus raised a brow as he pulled on his dark red thermal. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans and strolled over to Sirius lazily, taking a seat on the arm of the couch.

"Help yourself," he grinned.

"It was completely full. Tell me you were going to drink it all and I'll by you twelve of them," drawled Sirius.

Remus snickered and looked at the television. Some muggle show involving two women played. Remus smirked and snatched the bottle from Sirius' hand. Sirius huffed.

"C'mon. Let's get apparating," Remus said taking a swig of the Firewhiskey. "Lily and James' house?"

"Yeah. Right outside," clarified Sirius.

With a loud 'crack' the two vanished from sight.

When they opened their eyes, they found themselves on the front doorstep of James and Lily's house. Before they could even knock on the perfectly polished white door, it swung open to reveal the radiant Lily Potter. Something was different about her though. She smiled but it wasn't as radiant as usual. Lily normally exuded happiness, however now she seemed rather melancholy.

"Sirius, how are you, my darling?" Lily said placing a swift kiss on his cheek. "Have fun travelling?"

"Oh, yes. No presents, I'm afraid, love," he chuckled.

"You being here is a present enough," smiled Lily.

Lily turned to Remus, her smile growing even tenderer. She took Remus' face in her hands, brows furrowing. He could sense the incoming comment. Normally, it would have pissed him off. However, when Lily asked he found himself not minding so much.

"Are you feeling well? Was last night terribly difficult?" she questioned in a low voice.

"No more difficult than usual. Nicked myself a bit, I'm afraid. Aside from that, just peachy," he grinned.

"Well, come on in. I was just putting the final touches on dinner."

Her smile seemed forced. Unhappy. Remus and Sirius exchanged confused glances before following her inside.

It looked cozy as usual. Fresh flowers on the hall table and just the right amount of jackets hung on the coat-stand. The area rug was spotless with its warm toned paisley pattern. The walls were painted in pastel earth tones and decorated with pictures of the Potters and some of The Marauders. There was one of Petunia Evans. Soon to be Petunia Dursley if things panned out like she wanted.

Petunia had been more than unkind to Lily and somehow she still felt an undying love for her. Lily's heart was the size of a professional Quidditch Pitch.

The lighting was dim and warm, reminding one of a perfect spot to be on a rainy day.

Sirius and Remus followed Lily down the hall and into the kitchen where James leaned lazily against the island counter, sipping from a dark red mug. He looked up and caught sight of his two best friends. James' face split into a wide grin. He set down the mug and embraced his dearest friends. James knew better than to inquire as to how Remus was now.

He'd be asked enough but now. The concern quota had been reached.

"I'm so glad you both could make it. Between your traveling and Moony working, I haven't seen either of you in far too long," James remarked, patting Sirius on the shoulder. "Lily and I have missed having you both around. I feel like I hardly see Remus outside of meeting up at the Shrieking Shack."

Behind James, Lily nodded as she plucked a spoon that been rotating itself in a pot then tossed it aside. She began to pull a variety of colored dishes from their cabinets and place cutlery on top. Remus inhaled and gave James a quick grin, before walking to Lily.

"Why don't I help you set the table, Lily? Let Sirius brag about his audacious exploits with James," offered Remus.

Lily gave Remus an appreciative smile and nodded.

"If you could just set those on the table and I'll bring in the food," she said softly.

Remus took the plates and set towards their dining room, exploring all the explanations behind why Lily was behaving so peculiarly. He didn't dare venture a guess as to if it had to do with a lady issue. The only possible motive was that James and Lily were in some sort of argument. Then again, when Lily and James were in an argument, you knew it.

Remus set the four plates before the seats that were tucked beneath the perfectly polished, pine dining room table. Each chair was an entirely different one from the last. One was green, another was blue then a plain, mahogany one, etcetera. He gathered the silverware in one hand and started placing them beside each dish.

"Thank you, Remus. I hope you don't mind," Lily said softly as she entered the dining room.

"Well, I won't lie, Lily. This cutlery is made of real silver. It burns a bit," he smirked.

Remus continued to place out the silverware and looked up at Lily with a lopsided smile, she cracked a grin as well and levitated various bowls of food to spots on the table.

"I offered, Lily. Of course I don't mind."

Lily sighed and took a seat beside the head of the table and folded her arms, one over the other on the table. Remus studied her expression with concern and mild curiosity. She looked up from her freckled arms to his face.

"Remus, you always know when something is wrong," she smiled wryly.

Remus shrugged, brows furrowing at her uneasy candor. Lily often worried, but rarely did she worry like this. The color from her face had drained. Her eyes were tired and lacked that emerald sparkle they normally had. Somehow, her physical appearances spoke volumes more than her personality. What was wrong with her? He hated not knowing things. Not knowing this, killed him. The girl who was there for him during the hardest of times was now going through some issues of her own and she obviously needed him. Why wouldn't she just speak up?

"Lily, you can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

Her brows furrowed and another sheepish smile crept upon her lips. Remus offered her his hand across the table. She took it tenderly, wiping some perspiration from her forehead.

"Lily, what's happening?" whispered Remus.

The voices of Sirius and James grew louder. Lily quickly withdrew her hand and sat up straight, attempting to appear casual. Remus lounged back in his chair and folded his arms offering a smile and nod to James and Sirius as they entered. James took a seat at the head of the table and Sirius sat beside Remus.

"Lily, this looks and smells amazing. I haven't had home-cooked food in a long time," Sirius said scooping some mashed potatoes on his plate.

"Thanks, Sirius," she replied.

Remus scooped food onto his own plate, finally able to eat today. His eyes met James who was removing rolls from a basket. They prepared their plates in an uncomfortable silence. Sirius cleared his throat. Sirius did that before he would engage in a detailed conversation.

He explained the details of The Order to them, choosing his words carefully so as not to upset Lily. Occasionally, Sirius would look to Remus to confirm a fact to which he would oblige with a simple nod or 'right.' Seemingly, the Potters were taking the news in stride. Seemingly.

"We're going to have our first meeting next week."

"Next week?" clarified James.

"First we have to recruit Peter," Sirius said pointedly.

Lily froze and stopped eating. Her jaw tightened as she gazed at Sirius with an unknown emotion in her eyes. Sirius seemed to halt too.

"Recruit? I thought this was an organization not an Army," Lily swallowed.

Sirius grimaced and shrugged lightly.

"Well, it's sort of both. I told you it was risky. You don't have to join."

The tension seemed to heighten in those seconds. Remus took a sip of wine from his glass and pursed his lips. He studied the overwrought look on Lily's face then glanced to James who seemed to be hiding stress behind a warm smile. The rubber band could only stretch so far before it broke. It was about to break.

"Lily is actually pretty occupied with work…and her family. She may sit this one out. I'll join," James said nonchalantly.

There was a loud clatter as Lily dropped her silverware on her plate. Well, more like threw her silverware on her plate. Sirius jumped slightly, eyes wide. Remus maintained a solemn expression and swallowed his food. He set down his silverware and placed his hands in his lap, awaiting the fireworks.

"Oh, you're going to join? Are you going to join, James?" taunted Lily.

James sighed and hung his head.

"Lily, please…"

"Don't 'Lily, please' me! You're going to thrust yourself into this-this war? You go out and risk your life while I just sit here and worry that you won't come home!"

Remus sighed and bowed his head somberly, looking up at his two friends arguing. Sirius was even more awkward.

"Lily, this is bigger than you and me. We need to make this world a better place…" murmured James, his brows raised as if emphasizing some secret point.

Sirius looked to Remus looking completely lost. Remus shook his head slightly then looked at the squabbling couple. Finally, Sirius' impatience got the best of him.

"Can someone tell me what the bloody hell this is all about?" Sirius groaned.

"Lily's pregnant, Sirius," James exhaled.

The silence was deafening.

emus tried to appear impassive. The appropriate response to this situation was unclear. If Remus acted happy for them then he might actually help the situation. Maybe appearing excited over the news would make Lily realize it wasn't that bad. James didn't seem as cross as Lily and maybe another joyful face would persuade her otherwise.

Then again, sympathizing with Lily might help. Remus had no experience in this department so being he couldn't tell Lily that he could relate. However, another person backing up her fears would probably help her to not feel ridiculous.

Was she being ridiculous?

What with the news Remus had just heard, this Voldemort person was rising to the top and anyone opposing him would most likely be in danger. Lily had already been upset over what she knew and now she'd learned that it was far worse than she had thought. Putting a child in danger and not being able to protect James was a dreadful mix for anyone. Especially a control-freak like Lily.

Then again, maybe she was behaving irrationally. After all, James seemed alright with the news. From what Remus could guess he was not even close to being as distraught as Lily. From his lack of tension Remus assumed that he was secretly excited. James had always wanted kids. He recognized Voldemort was dangerous but he also recognized that his mudblood wife could be perfectly safe if she stayed out of the fight. Not only would she be out of harm's way at home, but he could more easily protect her. James didn't need her to protect. He was strong enough on his own and having a baby on the way definitely gave him something to fight for.

Remus could only go with his gut feeling. Lily should not be so upset. She had every right to panic but being this upset was sophistic. Most likely anxiety induced. Lily was prone to that. Understandably so in this case.

"Thank you, James! Now that you've told them it's going to be that much harder to-"

"Lily, you are NOT getting an abortion!" snapped James.

Lily fumed, eyes narrowed at James who stared at her blankly. Remus and Sirius sat quietly, neither knowing the appropriate thing to say. Her eyes glistened as she continued to stare James down. His face grew riddled with sympathy.

"Lily, I-"

"No, James! Stop. You aren't this brilliant wizard you think you are! You need me! You can't do this alone!"

"I won't be alone! There will be plenty more people with me!"

"Then consider bringing a child into this messed up world! Imagine risking its innocent life! It's selfish and completely out of the question! I will never forgive myself if something happened to it!" Lily cried hoarsely.

James continued to gaze at her, eyes now relaxed in understanding.

"I wasn't keeping it last week and I sure as hell am not keeping it now," Lily said choking back tears.

She stood from the table and stormed out the back door.

James leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes shut.

"Erm... Congratulations?" tried Sirius.

Remus shook his head slowly in disapproval at Sirius' words. James inhaled deeply through his nostrils and opened his eyes as he leaned forward with his elbows on the table.

"I can't believe she's even considering that," he murmured.

Sirius took a swig of his wine and looked to Remus for some words of imparted wisdom. Remus turned his eyes from Sirius to James.

"Fear puts panic in us making us jump to bizarre solutions. It's very rare people act on them," tried Remus.

"I dunno, Moony. Lily is pretty stubborn and headstrong. I'm afraid she'll do it."

"Then stop her," shrugged Sirius.

"I'm scared if I do she'll be her usual self and do it just because someone says she shouldn't."

"Well, if anyone can talk her down it's you, James. You've just got to be understanding and gentle," said Remus.

James and Sirius both looked at Remus hopelessly. He knew that look. It wasn't much different from the look that implied they needed words of wisdom. This one was begging for help to get them out of trouble. Remus sighed and smiled wryly.

"I'll go talk to her," he said.

"Thanks, Moony," James said with a warm smile.

Remus nodded at him accepting his thanks. He walked behind James and patted him on the shoulder comfortingly. Sirius and James spoke to one another in hushed tones as Remus walked out the back door on the porch where Lily sat on the steps. Remus took a seat beside Lily who was hugging her knees to her chest. He followed Lily's gaze to the slowly dimming purple sky.

"He sent you out here?" asked Lily in a voice muffled by her arms.

Remus laughed softly.

"Of course."

Lily huffed and rolled her eyes.

"He should be a man and come talk to me himself," she grumbled.

"James loves you, Lily. Running out of the dining room didn't necessarily insinuate that you wanted him to follow."

She was silent. Remus knew what that meant. It meant that she was slowly seeing sense and knew that she was wrong. James had only wanted to protect her.

"He's being selfish," muttered Lily.

Remus shook his head, eyes still skyward. Lily peaked at him out of the corner of her eye. His face. Despite being scarred in a few places was the face of an honest and gentle soul, not a worn and angry werewolf. His eyes, thought tired spoke volumes of intelligence and sense.

"He's trying to protect you in the best way he knows how."

Lily sat up and faced Remus with frantic eyes still wet with tears.

"Remus, he wants me to-to keep this...thing! I don't want it! I want to help him! I want to protect him too! I don't want...this!" she said pointing to her stomach.

Remus slowly met her panicked gaze and offered a warm smile. Lily's breathing slowed and her posture relaxed. Remus had that effect on her.

"Don't you? If I recall, you and James used to argue over future baby names," he smirked.

"Of course I do! I can't though. Not while the world is so dangerous," she murmured.

Remus placed a comforting hand on her back, still wearing his gentle smile, eyes emitting tranquility.

"James knows you, Lily. Even better than Sirius and I. He knows that if you make this rather...extreme decision then you'll regret it. Deep down you know it too," said Remus quietly.

Lily tried to blink away her tears but one managed to escape. She quickly wiped it away and turned back to the evening sky.

"He's not wrong, Lily. You're going to have to sit this one out physically. How far along are you?"

"Just barely four months."

Remus smiled at her and shrugged.

"It's only five months. Stay on the tactical side of the Order and you can still help. You're smart. I bet you'd be brilliant at scheming things."

Lily's cheek lifted slightly as the situation seemed less and less dismal. As she began to realize how ridiculous her reaction had been. The drastic measure she had almost okay.

She hugged Remus around his waist.

"I should talk to James," she murmured into his arm.

Remus embraced Lily by her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

"Now go talk to your husband," Remus said firmly as he released her from his arms.

Lily stood and walked back inside the house, her feet were dragging as she prepared to apologize. She hated being wrong.

Though problems had been mended, dinner was still a quiet affair. James and Lily held hands on top of the table while Sirius and Remus ate awkwardly not knowing if they should speak. The important thing was that now Lily and James had agreed to join The Order. That choice has been called many things. Sacrificial. Unfortunate. Tragic. Stupid. More than anything though, it was brave.

*O*O*O*O*O*

Sirius stayed with Remus again that night. He offered to get a room at a local inn but Remus refused. Sirius briefly insisted that he did not want to inconvenience Remus but in the end was swayed. Sirius normally accepted charity from his friends gratefully. However, it was harder with Remus. Remus could barely house himself, much less two people.

It took much longer for Remus to fall asleep than Sirius. Normally, Remus wouldn't have woken up at all the day after a transformation. Not until he had to get ready for work that is. However, Remus was still wary of his oncoming conversation with Dumbledore. He wasn't sure why but each time he thought of it his insides churned. Then he would try to deter his thoughts by thinking about work in the morning.

That hardly helped. All he could think was that when he woke up for work, he would only have about four hours of sleep-at best. There were really no topics he could turn his mind to that didn't make him worry. He even worried about his friends now. There was nothing to be done really. Nothing but just lie there and hope Remus could finally force himself to succumb to his waves of exhaustion.

_***So in my ending note on the last chapter I said that this story wasn't about Remus. Let me explain. This story is going to focus on Remus' experience at the rise of the first wizarding war. Once more, this is mostly for me. I've read some other first generation wizarding war fanfiction and was hooked. Here's my shot at it!***_


	5. Chapter 5-The List

**Chapter Five**

**The List**

Sirius stayed with Remus again that night. He offered to get a room at a local inn but Remus refused. Sirius briefly insisted that he did not want to inconvenience Remus but in the end was swayed. Sirius normally accepted charity from his friends gratefully. However, it was harder with Remus. Remus could barely house himself, much less two people.

It took much longer for Remus to fall asleep than Sirius. Normally, Remus wouldn't have woken up at all the day after a transformation. Not until he had to get ready for work that is. However, Remus was still wary of his oncoming conversation with Dumbledore. He wasn't sure why but each time he thought of it his insides churned. Then he would try to deter his thoughts by thinking about work in the morning.

That hardly helped. All he could think was that when he woke up for work, he would only have about four hours of sleep-at best. There were really no topics he could turn his mind to that didn't make him worry. He even worried about his friends now. There was nothing to be done really. Nothing but just lie there and hope Remus could finally force himself to succumb to his waves of exhaustion.

Remus met Sirius upstairs at his flat after work. He was watching Remus' poor excuse for a television and eating what looked like stew out of a metal container. Sirius looked over his shoulder from the couch and swallowed.

"Your landlady dropped this off. She's happy you've found a 'mate' to room with," he grinned.

Remus grinned and let his beaten, leather bag fall off his shoulder to the floor.

"Meet any beautiful women?"

Remus smirked at his friend as he removed a name tag from the left side of his chest and tossed it carelessly on the small kitchen counter with the keys..

"No, Sirius. I met no beautiful women. Just some rather old men writing their 'novels'" he replied using his fingers as quotation marks for the last part.

"You ready to go see good, old Dumbledore?" sighed Sirius leaping off the couch.

Remus nodded and walked over to his closet to remove another one of his shabby jumpers, a tee shirt and jeans.

"Lemme just change out of this uniform. It smells like dust and old people."

"C'mon! I haven't changed clothes in two days. We can both smell odd togeth-"

"Sirius, where is your luggage?" Remus asked curiously.

Sirius adjusted the collar of his black jacket, scoffing.

"Who needs luggage?"

"You lost it didn't you?" asked Remus dryly.

Sirius crossed his arms and stuck his nose up in the air, his onyx eyes narrowed.

"I lost it because I didn't care about it."

"Most of your money was in there."

It wasn't a question.

Sirius paused then removed a wallet from his pocket, smirking at Remus. Remus snickered and pointed to the wallet with amusement in his eyes.

"You've only got muggle money?" he snorted.

"Yeah. Don't worry though, I plan on exchanging it in Diagon Alley. You won't have to cover me for meals or anything."

"Alright, Sirius. Relax. I wasn't concerned for my finances."

"Well, you should be," Sirius said with a small smile.

Remus rolled his eyes and continued walking to his small restroom.

"I'm sorry! That was rude!" Sirius called apologetically.

"It's fine!" laughed Remus.

Remus shut the door of the restroom with a good shove and began to peel off his work clothes that consisted of a black collared shirt, black pants and black shoes with black socks.

He fought off the urge to glance at his reflection. Being attractive was of no concern but seeing the scars... Seeing those scars never failed to anger him. Even though Remus wasn't looking in the mirror he could see his reflection in his mind.

His chest covered in slashes, one of them new from two months ago when he went to the Shrieking Shack on his own. He was fit, toned even, but something about his torso was emaciated almost. Thin.

His eyes slowly looked up into the mirror. Remus did not like what he saw. The boy with the dark circles beneath his eyes. The boy with the pale face and cheekbones prominent from lack of nutrition and sleep.

The boy who did not look quite like a boy, but a man. His face looked somewhat older than his friends. Probably because it was almost perpetually in an expression of concern with the occasional exception of pasted on smile for work or a genuine grin when those close to him made him happy.

He felt like his brows were almost always furrowed above his bright, wary eyes that teemed with darkness and ages of anxiety.

Then there was his hair. When Remus saw his hair one word came to mind. Contradiction.

It was as thick as any man in his early twenties and it always seemed to flop into his eyes. Remus kept it neat and trimmed but for all intents and purposes it was a tidy-not shaggy-and sandy brown mop that he constantly had to shake away from his eyes. However the unruly, thick hair was not what depressed him.

It was the silver flecked throughout it.

When he was seventeen he found his first grey hair. Remus thought nothing of it.

More appeared when he was eighteen and nineteen, but it was when he moved out that it had flooded his scalp. Little silver hairs left and right upon his head. Some girls seemed to fancy that. Think it was cute.

Remus did not see it that way. The least of his worries was that it was not handsome. Remus more hated it because it seemed as though his body was surrendering to the wolf. Granting it access to him in all aspects. Not just physically, but the grey hair was a confirmation that he stressed more than usual.

That is, if you couldn't tell from his face.

Remus sighed and pulled the tee shirt over his head. It hugged his lanky frame. However, it was light blue making him appear less frail. He often wore light colors and baggy sweaters to disguise his weathered figure.

Remus quickly threw on the jumper and exited the restroom. He picked his bag up off the floor and slung it over his shoulder. Sirius sat at the foot of Remus' bed, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. There was a guilty smile on his face. Remus cocked a brow.

"What?" drawled Remus.

With a grunt, Sirius pushed himself to a standing position.

"Well, Mr. Moony, since we can't apparate without Dumbledore at Hogwarts and there's no floo around and there's no train to Hogwarts running currently-"

"No. You don't even have your motorbike," Remus said instantly.

Sirius smirked at Remus and put his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"Since when?"

"Remus, it was at Saint Mungos. I apparated there this morning and got it. I would never lose that thing. Not after how long it took me to buy it!"

"Sirius, I am NOT riding on that thing and hugging your waist."

"Now, who said anything about hugging?"

"Embracing your torso is the only way I'm going to be able to stay on your death machine and not plummet to my death!"

Sirius shrugged and walked to the door of Remus' apartment.

"Well, Lily and James are away talking with Peter, so we can't use their floo and today is the only day we can meet before the first Order meeting," Sirius said mildly.

Remus shook his head and snatched his keys off the counter by his aluminum kitchen sink.

"I'm apparating to the Shrieking Shack," he grumbled. "I don't care about the walk or the wizarding community."

Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes causing Remus to smile in amusement.

"That's not as fun!" he whined. "Please! Let's take my bike to Hogwarts and then you can walk to the Shrieking Shack then apparate home and I'll take my bike back alone. Please just try it!"

Remus stared at Sirius, scrutinizing him. Sirius resembled a child begging for five more minutes before bedtime. Remus had never rode Sirius' bike and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Just this once," he settled.

The urge to vomit was overwhelming on Sirius' bike and Remus gripped the sides of the seat, hunched over as he struggled to stay on. As Remus had repeated a thousand times, he refused to hold Sirius' waist. However, Remus was relieved that Sirius carried two pairs of goggles with his motorbike at all times-in case any beautiful witch fancied a go.

When they landed by the platform where the Hogwarts Express usually disembarked, Sirius slid off the bike with ease and removed his goggles, placing them in the compartment console before the handles. He extended his hand for Remus' then found himself bellowing with laughter.

Remus sat, slouched over, frozen. His eyes were wide as he trembled. Remus didn't know if his shaking was from the cold or from the unbearable fear of falling to his death just moments ago.

"The full moon is over, mate," Sirius snorted with a grin.

Remus' eyes that had been staring into the distance flickered over to Sirius. They were still wide in terror behind the goggles.

"You know, for a person who transforms into a monster once a month you sure are hilariously scared of the smallest things."

Remus opened his mouth.

"Keep-"

"-your voice down. I know," sighed Sirius, finishing Remus' tried and true phrase with a flippant wave of his hand.

Remus sighed largely and removed the goggles with trembling fingers. He tossed them with a quiet rage into the front console then slid off the bike. Remus ran a hand through his now distressed hair trying to smooth it down. He wanted to look at least presentable for Dumbledore.

"Alright, c'mon, girl. You look beautiful," Sirius snickered walking down the thestral drawn carriage trail that led to the castle.

Remus followed stiffly behind, taking in the sights around him. It was late April and students were still enjoying the crisp spring weather in jumpers and jackets. Some were working, some mucking about with Zonkos products and some merely talking. Supper had just ended so activity was rather sparse, and in about two hours the students would have to make their way to their respective dorms. It made Remus remember the so many years ago that he had walked these grounds. Ran about them as a werewolf. Studied under trees while James and Sirius plotted their next prank on Snape with Peter eagerly watching. Stopping his friends from going a bridge too far while tormenting Severus.

The conversations with Lily about what it was like to experience what he was going through. Conversations that Remus only wanted her to hear. Granted she showed Remus pity and often teared up, Lily was a good listener. More often than not she would suppress her cries and just hear what he was saying. Help him castaway unnecessary doubts and fears.

Remus also recalled playing middle man for James. How awful he had been at it and how incredibly apparent it was when he tried. Remus still held stock in the fact that his transparent endeavors to set Lily and James up played a large part in them finally getting together. The way Lily would blush madly at Remus' poor attempts to talk James up with nonchalance.

He would say things like: 'James is awfully good at Quidditch, isn't he?' or 'James is helpful during full moons. He never complains about staying up late with me.' Once Remus ran out of things to mention and ended up with the improvised line of 'James is very handsome, isn't he?' To which Lily laughed and responded: 'I never knew you felt that way for him. I guess I should take my hat out of the ring.' They shared a good laugh out of that one. Two weeks post that awkwardly humorous conversation, James and Lily were dating.

Remus had high hopes of seeing Professor McGonagall. They had always enjoyed one another's company. Slughorn, however, he was always rather odd around Remus. Unsure of whether to 'collect' him for being an excellent student or discard him for being a werewolf. He had always spoken with indifference to Remus.

The halls were rather vacant. Most students were still in the Great Hall, some were in the library studying and some had already retired to their dorms. There were a few students standing to the sides. Though rather friendly, Sirius and Remus were in no mood to converse with the fans they had obtained through their pranks and popularity at Hogwarts. Right now, it was Dumbledore business and the once amused expression on Sirius' face had vanished, though Remus did not know why.

"Are you _really_ nervous?" asked Remus as they climbed the Grand Staircase.

Sirius shook his head, a solemn expression on his face.

Remus sighed and shook his head.

"It's only Dumbledore. The nicest and most understanding man in the Wizarding World."

Something in Remus' voice was also quite glum. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew part of the reason for that, but the other reason was unknown to him.

The known reason was that Remus had betrayed Dumbledore's trust in his fifth year. In his fifth year when his three best friends had become unregistered Animagi and gained their nicknames. Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. He had purposefully never informed Dumbledore of that development. None of them had. It was half because they weren't sure if he would support that illegally endeavor and half because they didn't want him to get in trouble for approving three underage Animagi.

It had been selfish.

Remus didn't want to lose the wonderful chance of not attacking himself on a full moon and instead running around following animal instincts. So he lied to the man he owed everything to.

Every time he spoke to Dumbledore, he managed to suppress the guilt. Then he would walk away and it would rise in his stomach and burn his heart.

They finally reached the gargoyle that led to Dumbledore's office.

"Lemon-drops," Sirius said.

A spiral staircase appeared. Together, Remus and Sirius climbed the steps to Dumbledore's office. Both of them felt the slight tinge of guilt rise within, then slowly sink back down.

Dumbledore stood before his Pensieve, removing a silver thread of a memory from his temple and casting it into the fountain.

"Welcome, gentlemen. Tea? I was just thinking of putting some on?" asked Dumbledore facing them.

He wore a warm smile and his eyes twinkled like sapphires.

"Sounds brilliant. Remus?" confirmed Sirius.

"Yeah."

"Good. Let's head up to my office."

Dumbledore explained all the aspects of the Order to Remus and Sirius. He explained that the meeting would take place in a safe house he had purchased under a fake name. It was in Dufftown, rundown and protected from muggle eye by glamour. However, muggles shouldn't run across it anyway seeing it as it was out in the middle of nowhere. Hidden in the deep countryside. You couldn't use floo to get there for risk of infiltration and all meetings were to be coordinated at least an hour in advance.

Communication would be accomplished through each wizard's Patronus and not owls for fear of interception by the enemy. He would show them how to communicate by Patronus at the first meeting if some did not know.

"Here's a list of those I have recruited. I'm sure that you'll recognize most of them," Dumbledore said handing over a piece of parchment.

Sirius' eyes grazed the list before he passed it over to Remus.

_OTP MEMBERS:_

_Sirius Black_

_Edgar Bones_

_Caradoc Dearborn_

_Dedalus Diggle_

_Elphias Doge_

_Aberforth Dumbledore'_

_Albus Dumbledore_

_James Potter_

_Lily Potter_

_Benjy Fenwick_

_Mundungus Fletcher_

_Rubeus Hagrid_

_Alice Longbottom_

_Frank Longbottom_

_Remus Lupin_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Marlene McKinnon_

_Dorcas Meadowes_

_Alastor Moody_

_Peter Pettigrew_

_Sturgis Podmore_

_Fabian Prewett_

_Gideon Prewett_

_Severus Snape_

_Emmeline Vance_

"Professor, if I may, this is a very long list of some very talented wizards. They've all consented?"

"Every last one, Remus."

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks of candor then glanced back at Dumbledore.

"I propose the first meeting be this coming Monday. How does that sound?"

Remus quickly recalled his work schedule and nodded as he realized that he had Monday off.

"Good. Sirius, Professor McGonagall would like to see you in her office. Would you mind leaving Remus and I to speak for a moment?"

"Not at all."

Sirius stood and patted Remus on the shoulder as he exited Dumbledore's office. The conversation that occurred was too occur was both expected and unexpected.

***So there's Chapter Five. I gotta say, I'm having fun with this carefree fic. I'll write the epilogue for THE YOUNG LIFE OF WEREWOLF REMUS LUPIN shortly. Promise!***


	6. Chapter 6-The Convening of the Order

**Chapter Six**

**Convening of the Order**

Remus and Dumbledore sat in anticipated silence as they awaited the sound of Sirius' footsteps to end and confirm he was gone.

The sound of him traipsing down the stairs and the gargoyle moving aside with a scraping noise faded. Remus met Dumbledore's eyes and was suddenly comforted by the warmth within.

"Why do you seem so confused, Remus?" asked Dumbledore politely.

Remus inhaled through his nose and shrugged.

"I just...I just don't know why you want me to play a part in this."

"I thought it would be obvious," Dumbledore replied, raising a brow.

Remus shook his head, smiling sheepishly. Dumbledore still maintained his warm grin, though his brows were slightly furrowed as though concerned.

"Well, I know James is a leader and a talented strategist most likely-judging by the wins he had as Quidditch Captain. Sirius knows the dark belly of the Wizarding Society backwards and forwards with possible informants left and right. Lily is a brilliant witch and practically knows everything. I'm simply good at dueling. That's it, essentially. I just don't know what I have to offer to all these brilliant people.

"Also, I don't see a few of them being too happy with my involvement. Maybe Marlene. She works as a Healer now at the werewolf clinic. The others won't be too happy having...someone like me around. Werewolves aren't known for...oh..."

Remus finally figured it out. This Voldemort person had not only been recruiting pureblood wizards, but also werewolves. Dumbledore would need a werewolf to go undercover and get information. Remus was almost disappointed. Half of him had hoped that Dumbledore wanted him solely for his skill. However, it was quite the opposite. Dumbledore wanted Remus for his breed.

Remus nodded slowly and propped his elbow up on the arm of his mahogany chair that sat opposite Dumbledore's desk.

"I see," Remus murmured placing his chin on his knuckles.

Deep down, Remus had known this was why he had been recruited. He had just done what he did best and suppressed disappointment from rearing its ugly head.

Dumbledore smirked as he observed the glum expression on Remus' face.

"Now, Remus, let's clear a few things up, shall we?"

Remus' gaze that had drifted to the floor slowly made its way back up to Dumbledore whose own stare held amusement.

"I didn't recruit you because you are a werewolf. It's useful of course, however there are better, more important reasons I want to involve you. I've met quite a few wizards in my day but none quite so talented with offensive and defensive spells like you. Lily is indeed gifted with casting spells-however, she lacks the heart to duel defensively, and as I understand her participation will be quite limited due to her pregnancy.

"Your knack for a variety of spells will come in handy. You can help better members who require some brushing up on their skills. Why do you think I'm assisting you in getting a job in academics? You're a good teacher. Second, I recruited you because of your sound mind. One of the many things that makes you such a talented wizard is your ability to remain levelheaded during a duel or confrontation. It is rare that you let rage get the best of you. We need someone like that. A mediator during times of indifference.

"Last, you are perhaps the most courageous and persevering student I've ever seen attend this school. You mustered up the courage not only to attend Hogwarts with your particular ailment, but be one of the top wizards in your class. That's one of the most impressive things I've ever witnessed," finished Dumbledore, still smiling with compassion.

Remus felt the corner of his mouth lift slightly in relief, though his brows were raised in a sort of disbelief. A wry grin crept across his face as he sat up straight and leaned forward slightly.

"Well, how do they all feel about...about me being a part of the Order?" asked Remus timidly.

Dumbledore shrugged.

"No one is aware to my knowledge aside from your friends, McGonagall and I. Miss McKinnon now too I suppose. How did she seem to react the first time you appeared at the sanctuary?"

Remus laughed deftly, shaking his head.

"Her jaw hit the floor. She pointed at me and, I believe her exact words were 'I knew it!' She was then scolded by the Head Healer. Shortly after that incident she started crying and hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe."

Dumbledore chuckled.

"Miss McKinnon always DID have a flare for drama."

Silence once again ensued. Remus sighed quietly as he ran over the conversation they had just had. Going undercover in the werewolf world. Pretending to be werewolf with a thirst to purge the world of muggles and contaminate all wizards who weren't one of his kind would be difficult. It would be hard to fool whoever the leader was. The leader.

Remus' brows knitted together. He blinked and looked back to Dumbledore who peered over his half-moon spectacles with a somber expression.

"It's him isn't it? He's the leader."

Though this was phrased as a question, it was more of statement. Dumbledore knew exactly what Remus was suggesting.

"Fenrir is the leader, yes."

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and swallowed, closing his eyes.

"How do I find him?" he asked, lids still shut.

"Easily. I imagine he'll send one of his recruiters to find you. That's how he's been getting them, you see? Tracking down the ones he's bitten and recruiting them. He's even started to bite children. He bites them, kidnaps them, and then takes them to wherever he is hiding.

"Sounds like him," snorted Remus with a bitter laugh.

Remus drew in a quick breath and opened his eyes. Dumbledore was looking at him thoughtfully. Remus nodded, trying to appear nonchalant.

"Okay. Yeah, I'll do it."

"Are you certain, Remus?" asked Dumbledore gravely.

Remus nodded again giving a flippant wave of his hand.

"I'm certain. Let's just keep my status private. I'm positive that I don't want any members knowing what I am. After all, you want me to teach them to duel. People will not a werewolf teaching them how to be a better wizard," snorted Remus.

Dumbledore smiled grimly at him. Remus had changed so much since they'd first met. The timid boy who Dumbledore had played Gobstones with in his living room by a fire which the boy had lit by conjuring a flame within his palm. The shy boy whose parents he convinced to let him attend Hogwarts.

Before him now sat a man with wisdom beyond his years who was no longer the quiet boy with a secret. He was now the clever man who endured and never lost hope despite the tragedies that had been placed upon him.

Remus stood and extended his hand to Dumbledore across the table. Dumbledore shook it firmly.

"Thank you, Remus."

"I owe you everything, Headmaster," Remus said softly.

Dumbledore released Remus' hand and stood upright shaking his head.

"No, Remus. I gave you an opportunity and you made it possible. You made it all on your own."

And with a grateful smile, Remus left his office. Outside Sirius stood talking to McGonagall. It seemed as though she was chiding him. Remus stepped towards them with a brow raised.

"That thing is a death machine and you'd do well not t-"

"It's not a death machine! It's a motorbike!" Sirius groaned.

McGonagall had served as a stern mother to Sirius. Miss Potter had babied him just as she had James, but McGonagall kept him in line as best she could trying to teach him lessons of restraint while he was at Hogwarts. Her valiant efforts never succeeded.

She looked over at Remus, gave him a once over and pursed her lips.

"Mr. Lupin, what are you eating? Air?" she said striding over to him.

Remus smiled at her and she suddenly saw the eager first year boy rather than the cautiously optimistic man.

"Take care of that cut, Mr. Lupin. If I see its infected next week I will be more than displeased," McGonagall said gesturing to the gash on his face with a pointed finger.

"Ready to go, mate? That is, assuming Professor McGonagall is finished berating me as to my choice of transportation," Sirius snickered.

McGonagall smiled tightly, genuine humor in her eyes.

"Not nearly finished. However, I'll concede today seeing as Mr. Lupin is in grave need of sleep. Judging by the enormity of those bags beneath his eyes I'd bet he hasn't achieved any sufficient amount of sleep in the past few days," she added with a knowing look.

Sirius slung his arm over Remus' shoulder and shook him gruffly. Remus smirked and shook his head.

"I'll see that he gets some good rest, Professor."

"See that you do, Mr. Black."

McGonagall turned and walked towards the staircase, carrying the sort of terse compassion only she could manage.

"So, to my motorbike!" Sirius proclaimed.

"Like hell... I'm apparating from the Shack."

*O*O*O*O*O*

Monday came faster than Remus would have liked. He had hoped Greyback would have recruited him by now. Just so he could have something to report to Dumbledore. Prove that he could pull his weight.

He had imagined the scenario a few times in his mind. One of Greyback's men waiting inside his apartment after work, appearing from the shadows and telling him that Greyback needed him to join his army. One of them hiding in an alley and dragging him into it to growl orders in his ear on where to go and when to be there for Greyback. Many more scenarios like this played in his mind. None of them occurred.

Possibly one reason behind the lack of recruitment was Sirius. Sirius was still rooming with Remus and if one of Greyback's followers were to confront Remus, doing it while Sirius was around was not ideal. Not only because Sirius would probably beat them to a bloody pulp, but also because they would want Remus to be a double agent.

He forced the thoughts from his mind as he and Sirius arrived by apparation in the middle of a desolate meadow. About twenty yards off was a very shabby, two story house leaning slightly in the middle as if off center.

"Charming," said Sirius dryly.

Remus looked at his watch. It was five on the dot.

"C'mon. They're probably all inside now," he mumbled.

The front steps creaked ominously as the boys arrived at the front door that had been painted white but was now chipping.

"Do we knock...or just go on in?" Sirius murmured rocking back on his heels.

Remus shrugged and reached for the knob. The door swung open causing Sirius and Remus to jump slightly. Dumbledore stood before them smiling slightly in amusement.

"I didn't mean to scare you, gentlemen," he chuckled.

Remus and Sirius laughed awkwardly.

"I never get scared."

"He does actually, Professor. Sirius is afraid of the dark."

"Remus, c'mon!" hissed Sirius.

"I have to light a candle every night when we go to bed because he is terrified," Remus drawled, smirking.

Sirius groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. Dumbledore smiled and stepped aside gesturing for them to enter. Sirius glared at Remus.

"Don't you dare bring that up again," Sirius growled as he stepped inside.

Remus snorted back laughter and followed after him.

"It's a bit funny," Remus grinned.

Sirius' cheek lifted as he nodded over his shoulder at Remus.

"Yeah, I know."

"Everyone is in the dining room," Dumbledore stated stepping in front of Sirius and leading them down the hall. Shockingly, the inside of the house was in no way a reflection of its exterior. A long rug decorated in a pattern of small, white flowers ran along the hallway floor and a small table sat lined a space by a closet under the stairs featuring a large, oil lamp.

The dining room was the most shocking. It was a sky blue with a shiny, mahogany table stretching about fifteen feet surrounded by matching chairs. Each one occupied by a recruit of the Order. Lily and James sat at the end, two chair vacant beside them. James waved for Sirius and Remus to come sit beside him.

There was an uncomfortable silence as Remus followed Sirius to their seats. No one spoke. They were either staring at Remus, Sirius or Dumbledore.

A few faces Remus recognized, but oddly enough, some of them he did not know. Oddly, because he had met about eighty percent of these people and known them for at least seven years.

He instantly recognized Gideon and Fabian Prewett. They hadn't changed in the slightest. He recognized Marlene, of course, who smiled at him deftly.

The Longbottoms didn't seemed to have changed that much. Alice's face was less round and more heart shaped. Her hair was shorter now, almost as short as Frank's. Being Aurors hadn't changed them otherwise. The dark and challenging look that most Aurors carried did not appear on their faces. They wore the same cheerful and warm expressions they had since their first year.

Alastor Moody was obvious. His reputation preceded him not only with his manic replacement eye but also the stern look on his face. His expression alone could frighten off any dark wizard.

Emmeline. Sweet Emmeline looked exactly the same. The same wavy, black hair that went just below her ears and warm brown eyes that though held volumes of caring also bore an alarming amount of defense. Emmeline was well liked by basically everyone and that mainly was due to her fierce loyalty. No one would bully or speak ill of her loved ones. Not without walking away with a hex or two.

Rubeus Hagrid was more than apparent. He stood in the corner. By now he knew that placing his large frame into a small chair was not a particularly good idea. His arms were folded and his black eyes scanned the room. He seemed intimidating, however everyone who knew Hagrid was aware of his kind demeanor and sensitive nature. He was not at all what he appeared to be.

Aberforth was also obvious. He basically was a lankier and less groomed Dumbledore. His eyes didn't twinkle but seemed to bore into your soul nonetheless.

McGonagall, of course. She was sitting erectly by Dumbledore wearing a look of intense concentration.

The rest were a mystery.

Dumbledore took a seat at the head of the table and all eyes shifted to him.

"Let's begin by introducing ourselves. Say your name and what you're currently up to," said Dumbledore. "For example, I'm Albus Dumbledore and outside of forming this organization, I am the Headmaster at Hogwarts."

Dumbledore then gestured to the first person on the left side of the table.

"I'm Aberforth and...I'm Albus' brother...and I bartend at the Hogs Head pub," shrugged Aberforth.

"I'm Edgar Bones and I intern for the Daily Prophet."

'Edgar Bones? It can't be...' thought Remus.

The timid boy in Hufflepuff who cried for others' misfortune and turned _himself_ in for cheating was now a tall and lean man with a strong jaw and broad shoulders? His eyes were the same though. Kind.

In between each introduction, Remus noticed one common factor. A girl across the table by Marlene. Compared to Marlene she appeared tall. Her eyes were narrowed at him, brows furrowed. It wasn't angry. It seemed more, perplexed or studious. Like she was studying for a test.

"Benjy Fenwick. I work at Flourish and Blotts as a bookkeeper," said the young but balding boy beside Edgar.

Then came the handsome Caradoc Dearborn and the less than bright Dedalus Diggle.

A pale man with red hair introduced himself as Mundungus Fletcher. He seemed vaguely familiar and put a rather uneasy feeling in Remus' gut.

Edgar Doge introduced himself as one of the key founders and lover of fine hats. He declared this as he pointed to a rather large and flamboyant hat on his head.

"I'm Sirius Black and I am currently rooming with this gent beside me because I am technically homeless," Sirius grinned pointedly.

Soft laughs echoed about the table. Remus sighed, grinning slightly. There was an awkward moment in which Remus forgot he was supposed to speak and Sirius elbowed him out of it.

"Oh, erm-I'm Remus Lupin and I am..."

_'Don't you dare blurt that you're a werewolf,'_ thought Remus angrily.

"I am working on becoming a teacher," Remus finally settled.

James wasted no time in speaking up.

"I'm James Potter and I am an elite Quidditch player," he beamed proudly.

James put his arm around Lily's shoulder and turned his admiring gaze to her.

"My name is Lily Potter and I am four months pregnant," she blushed.

"No! You stole my fact!"

All eyes shifted to Alice Longbottom who was smiling wildly as she leaned forward on the table. Frank was grinning brightly behind her. McGonagall smiled just barely, though her eyes reflected depths of joy for her two former students.

Eventually, the focus shifted to Alice who struggled for a different fact about herself to come up then gave up and deferred to Frank. Frank simply stated that he and Alice were exceeding in their profession as Aurors and were honored to have been recruited.

"I'm Emmeline Vance and I'm also an Auror with a particular proficiency in Stealth and Tracking."

Her former fellow students held back looks of astonishment. It was quite odd that Emmeline Vance, notorious bookworm would be an Auror. Then again, with her proficiency to defend those she loved, it wasn't too surprising. Especially the Stealth and Tracking bit. Emmeline was as graceful as a ballerina.

Marlene was next. However, Marlene was not what Remus was looking at. It was the girl again. Her scrutinizing gaze had shifted into a thoughtful one. A strand of dirty blonde hair fell in her eyes and she blew it out immediately.

"My name is Marlene McKinnon and I work as a part-time Healer at Saint Mungos," Marlene said with her usual kind smile.

But Remus wasn't listening.

"Sirius, who is that girl beside Marlene?" Remus whispered, leaning close to Sirius.

"Are you serious? That's Dorcas Meadowes," scoffed Sirius, quietly.

Remus shook his head.

"N-"

But Remus was cut off.

"I'm Dorcas Meadowes an' I'm studyin' to be a Healer at Saint Mungos in the Curse Induced Injury and Illness Department with the assistance of the lovely Marlene McKinnon."

No. It couldn't be Dorky Meadowes. The gangly girl who constantly tripped over her own feet and spilled goblets of orange juice on her own homework. The girl with the loud, snorting laugh and the angry face featuring a scrunched up mouth. The girl who burst into tears if a bird died and frowned when a stranger across the street was crying. The girl who for the most part was kind, but had an inexcusable temper and unhealthy amount of candor.

In summation, Dorcas was a gawky, clumsy, obnoxious, overly sensitive girl with a hilariously comical, angry face.

However, that girl sitting across the table who had been studying him this whole meeting could not be her.

But it was. That was her husky, Scottish voice.

Gideon and Fabian proceeded to introduce themselves and then announce that they had swapped places. Some people found this humorous, and others found it unamusing. Either way, it was awkwardly silent or filled with uncomfortable laughter. Either way, Dorcas didn't stop studying Remus. He tried to appear impassive beneath her scrutinizing gaze. He was unsure as to if it was convincing.

"Now that we've all been introduced, let's get to know one another better and what better way than with brandy, wine and Firewhiskey all provided by my brother? Minerva has taken the liberty of bringing some refreshments of her own making. Everything is in the kitchen and for Merlin's sake, let's form some real friendships. After all, is there anyone we trust outside those we consider out friends?"

And then Dumbledore stood, offering Minerva his arm and strolled into the kitchen, Aberforth not far behind. The table was silent. Everyone met each other's gaze in confusion.

A 'get-to-know-you' party to kick off a secret society/resistance devoted to the overthrow of a genocidal wizard. Odd.

However, Sirius wasted no time in resisting the temptation of a free drink. He hopped up and walked out of the room and into the kitchen.

One by one, each member rose and walked to the kitchen until it was just the Longbottoms, Remus, Peter and Edgar.

"So, Edgar…how's Amelia?" asked Remus clearing his throat.

Edgar looked up from the table that had he'd been studying so closely with his brows raised.

"Oh, Amelia? She's good. Marrying a man named Travis. She's very excited."

"Travis Greyer?" inquired Peter softly.

"No. Erm…you've never met him because…well, because…he's a muggle," replied Edgar attempting to seem nonchalant.

Remus nodded as Alice's mouth formed a large 'O.' Frank Longbottom spoke for all of them as he usually did in these quiet times.

"I suppose that serves as motivation for you joining The Order?" he asked.

Edgar smiled softly, tapping his fingers on the table as he lounged back in his chair.

"Yeah. Definitely."

"Well, Remus? Any particular motivation for you? Some lovely woman worth fighting for I bet?" Alice inquired eagerly.

Remus was caught off guard. His eyes widened and flickered between the four of them. He forced a small smile. Peter's watery eyes reflected some humor. He knew that Remus was never interested in any woman.

"No. Just wanting to do what is right. Nothing in particular."

'_I'm also doing it because I owe Dumbledore everything I have and I want to show the world that werewolves are capable of greater and better things,'_ he thought.

Alice smiled kindly at Remus, her gentle eyes glowing with compassion.

"That sounds just like you, Remus. Doing what's right for the sake of what's right," she said.

Frank opened his mouth to speak but was cut off.

"Remus, come have a drink and a finger sandwich, you miserable sod," Sirius grinned.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to go partake of some alcohol and a tiny sandwich," he said formally.

Edgar, the Long bottoms and Peter continued to converse as Remus exited the room to head into the kitchen. It was surprisingly clean and up-to-date. Much like the dining room and the hallway, the interior was completely the opposite of the exterior.

The floors were made up of flawless wood paneling that didn't feature a single scratch. The cabinet matched the floor, set above white countertops. Upon the countertops were various types of liquor and Aberforth mixing drinks for various people. McGonagall stood beside numerous trays of finger sandwiches explaining which was which to Lily. James was talking with Caradoc continuing to glance at Lily every so often. Unbeknownst to Remus, Sirius had left his side and almost instantly returned with a glass of brandy.

"Drink this. It'll make you happy," Sirius winked.

Remus took a sip and blanched slightly. Though he had to admit, the aftertaste was delicious.

"Now, if you'll excuse me I am going to put that old Victrola over there to good use and play that loud, brassy, jazz, swing stuff that you love so much. Maybe then you might, oh, I dunno…smile."

Sirius dashed off towards the Victrola in the corner in the corner of the room, leaving Remus on his own. Frank and Alice had finally joined them and Peter had joined James. Edgar had yet to appear.

It was nice seeing all these people together. Dumbledore had been right. If they were to trust each other, they'd have to be friends first.

"So, how many of em' know tha' ye're a werewolf?"


	7. Chapter 7-Compliment SiriusBlack Velvet

**Chapter Seven**

**Compliments of Sirius and Black Velet**

"So, how many of em' know that ye're a werewolf?" asked a voice with a thick, Scottish accent.

Remus sputtered out some of his drink back into his glass and coughed in surprise.

His brows furrowed in anxiety and he looked to his left where the voice had sounded from.

Dorcas Meadowes stood beside him, a goblet in her hand as she observed the people before her converse, eyes curious.

"I'm sorry?" Remus asked hitting his chest with his fist to relieve his loss of breath.

She looked at him with a brow raised.

"I asked how many people ere' know that ye're a werewolf," she repeated.

Remus' jaw opened and shut as he searched for an answer or excuse or anything to get himself out of this.

Nothing came to mind, so he blurted the only thing he could think of.

"I'm not."

Dorcas nodded and pursed her lips, looking back at the crowd.

"Alrigh'. Ye're not," she shrugged.

Remus' jaw tightened and he inhaled deeply through his nose. His legs felt numb and his ears got hot. How did Dorcas know? Had he fooled her into thinking he wasn't?

'Of course not. She's far too clever...' Remus thought, mentally cursing himself.

He turned his own gaze forward and gulped some of his brandy. It burned his throat as it trickled down.

"If I was one...how could you even tell?" he asked in a low voice, eyes forward.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small smile creep into her lips.

"Remus, be serious. I'm a Healer trainin' in the Curse Induced Injury and Illness Ward. The majority of patients are injured by werewolves, vampires and Unforgivables. I can tell."

"Theoretically, if I was one...would you tell everyone? Theoretically, that is..."

He looked at her trying to fight off a frantic expression. Slowly, Dorcas switched back to studying him.

"No," she whispered with a warm grin.

"But, that's just a theoretical question of-of c-course," he stammered.

"Yes, yes. Theoretical. Of course," replied Dorcas, nodding vigorously.

There was a long pause in which Remus refused to look at her, but her eyes continued to bore into him. Remus almost felt naked. He finally met her eyes. They shocked him slightly. He forgot how piercing they were. The lightest, icy blue you could imagine. They barely stood out against the whites of her eyes. They were lined with black eyeliner. She hadn't missed a spot in rimming it. The outer corners of each eye seemed to flip up at the ends.

"So if you were one, who all would know?"

"Oh, erm-probably, James...Peter...Sirius...Lily...erm, McGonagall...Marlene...and, erm...Dumbledore of c-"

"Bloody hell, who doesn' know?"

"Theoretically?"

"Once again, yes, theoretically."

"Literally, nobody outside a select number of professors at Hogwarts, my friends, Hagrid, my family, the staff at Saint Mungos and the Min-"

"Merlin, tha' is a lo' of people... Theoretically..." Dorcas snickered sipping from her goblet.

Remus found the corner of his lip twitch up.

"My God, ye're smilin'," she gasped.

Remus shook his head and took a sip of his drink.

An upbeat, swing, brass band song played.

"Moony! This is the stuff!" cried Sirius from across the room.

"He's not even drunk yet," groaned Remus.

Dorcas laughed with that same snort from when they were in school.

"You haven't changed a bit, have you, Dorky-oh my, I'm so sorry. I meant to say Dorcas but it-"

She looked down at her black, high heeled boots and shrugged.

"Some people call me Doe now."

"Doe. I like Doe," he mused. "I like Dorcas too, though."

A flush rose to Dorcas' cheeks and she seemed to bite the inside of her cheek as to suppress a smile. Remus had never understood the effect that he often had on women. He would say something kind or complimentary and they seemed to turn to jelly immediately. Sirius and James had always teased him for his obliviousness to his unintentional charm. Peter attempted to copy him when flirting with people like Dolores Umbridge or even Alice before she'd started dating Frank. It always ended up being awkward and uncomfortable.

"Nice talkin' to ye', Remus," she said abruptly.

And she was gone.

Sirius pranced over, lips in a devilish grin.

"You were talking with Dorky! You made her smile," he said pointing at him.

"It's Dorcas. Or Doe now, apparently."

"Yeah, I'm gonna call her Dorky," Sirius said looking at Dorcas as she spoke with Marlene and Emmeline.

"You made Dorcas blush. Not that I'm surprised," James said, appearing at his side.

"I just told her that I liked her name. Why would she blush at that?" Remus said gripping his empty glass. "What are we mumbling about then?" Lily whispered, joining them.

"Dorcas Meadowes," James murmured.

"She knows what I am," sighed Remus.

Peter toddled over to the four of them with a brow raised and a finger sandwich in hand.

"What did I miss?" asked Peter in a hushed tone.

Remus sighed and folded his arms, then pinched the bridge of his nose, empty glass still upright.

"Not only did Moony just make Dorky over there blush, but she knows what he is," Sirius said, inclining his head towards Peter so he could whisper.

Peter looked at Remus who had now opened his eyes. Peter frowned and glanced over at Dorcas.

"Okay, will everyone stop looking at her before she sees you?"Remus hissed.

The four couldn't help but laugh slightly. This was only the beginning of Dorcas Meadowes and Remus Lupin.

One week later...

"Found one!" Sirius cried leaping over the couch and striding towards Sirius-Muggle paper in hand.

Remus entered the apartment and tossed the keys onto the counter before dropping his bag, as usual. He met Sirius halfway and peered at the paper, brow furrowed in curiosity.

"Two bedroom flat just on the outskirts of Godric's Hollow so we'd be close to Lily and James without being too near the Wizarding community. I know that's important to you. It's under our budget too."

Remus scanned the ad. Surprisingly, Sirius had done well. He was right. The price was sufficient. The space was large enough. The placement was convenient.

"Alright, we'll schedule an appointment to have a look."

"Good. Now go clean up. We're going out to that adorable, little pub down the road."

Remus groaned and massaged his temples.

"Do you not realize that I've just worked an eleven hour shift?"

"Which is exactly why you could use a good pint! Go change out of that uniform that makes you look like a bloody, muggle history teacher so we can go!" Sirius ordered.

Remus rolled his eyes, smiling as he walked to his closet. He removed a blue polo and a pair of khakis.

"Are you going to play crochet with your grandparents? Because, Merlin, that is what it looks like," smirked Sirius.

Remus gave the outfit a once over, not seeing the problem. Sirius shoved Remus aside.

"Alright, this and this and this with these," Sirius said tossing Remus a grey tshirt, black jeans and some sneakers.

Remus looked at the clothes in his arms with a raised brow. His gaze went back up to Sirius.

"This is better?" asked Remus skeptically. "You're dressing me like a less ostentatious version of you."

"Um, you're welcome. Do you wanna do the beast with two backs with a girl or what?" snorted Sirius.

Remus shook his head, tossing his first outfit choice back into the closet.

"You said a pint. I'm not going for a roll in the hay. You know how that always ends up for me."

"It always ends up bloody brilliant!"

Remus scoffed and went into his restroom to change and wash his face.

"It does! You just rarely take advantage of the situation! They always ask you to go home with them. It's every man's dream. Then you always tell the bird no! Say yes for once!" Sirius called from the living room.

Remus pulled off his work shirt and exchanged it for the grey tee. He ran a hand through his coarse hair and felt his face contort into an expression of disbelief.

"You know I can't do that, Sirius," he replied.

There was a long pause where Remus could practically feel Sirius' irritation through the door.

Remus had only been with one girl from a bar and it had ended dismally. They had went back to her place and shagged. Midway through, she caught sight of the brand on his chest reading "WW412" (werewolf four hundred and twelve) and pulled away asking him what it was. He had told her it was from an incident in another country.

The look of skepticism on her face had caused him to panic. He left wordlessly. As Remus had walked towards the door, shirtless, she caught glimpse of his scar littered back and then gasped loudly.

He hadn't been with anyone since.

Sirius frowned, remembering the incident and instantly felt guilty.

"Well, at least get pissed with me," Sirius said, wryly.

Remus finished dressing and opened the restroom door. Sirius stood with his hands in his pockets and eyes looking all over the room.

A common habit he displayed whenever he felt guilty.

"Yeah. Drinking to excess sounds quite nice right now," Remus grinned shouldering past Sirius and removing his black pea coat from the closet.

Just light enough for the weather, just thick enough to hide how thin he was.

The pub wasn't too far of a walk and filled with burly men over indulging alcohol. Sirius' attention was not aimed towards the large, drunken males. It was the women in tiny shirts and shorts that lingered about the bar, sat at tables and leaned against walls that he had his smoky eyes on.

"That one there," Sirius said pointing across the room.

A girl with short, brown hair, a bare midriff, unhealthily tight jeans and heels as long as Remus' finger stood alone with a glass of white wine in her hand.

"Go get her then," Remus smirked.

Sirius scoffed and slapped Remus on the back good-naturedly. Remus looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"Not until I buy you a pint, you miserable sod."

Sirius strolled over to the bar and hopped up on a stool, Remus mirroring him. Sirius waved to the broad shouldered bartender and raised two fingers pointing to the tap. The burly man nodded gruffly and gathered a pair of glasses.

"See anyone you're interested in, Moony?" Sirius murmured with a wicked grin.

Remus scanned the room then turned back to Sirius. He smiled slyly.

"That busty one in the blue shirt. Back corner."

Sirius turned his head nonchalantly searching for Remus' target. His eyes landed on a heavyset man with a shaved head wearing a blue button up that was far too tight. Sirius turned back around and glared at Remus who accepted his pint from the bartender gratefully. He snickered to himself as Sirius shook his head in disbelief.

"I don't believe you, Remus. You'd rather be alone and drunk than be drunk with a delightful gem and shagging like rabbits!"

"Sh!" hissed Remus, smiling slightly.

Sirius rolled his eyes and took a drink.

"You're a right, foul git, you know?" sniggered Sirius.

Remus shrugged, gulping down some of his own.

Two pints later, Sirius was ready to approach the girl he had been eyeing. 'Madame Midriff Tight Pants' as Remus had named her. Sirius chugged the last of his drink and set the glass down. Sirius placed a firm hand on Remus' shoulder and locked eyes with him. Conviction pulsing from them in an almost primal manner.

"Wish me luck," nodded Sirius gravely.

"Oh, all of it, Padfoot," Remus replied with a dismissive wave.

He slid off his barstool, Remus looking over his shoulder to witness the beginning of Sirius' fool proof plan of getting a woman to sleep with him. Sirius sauntered over to the young woman and tapped her on the shoulder. She was almost instantly blushing.

Remus smiled amusedly and turned back around focusing on his half empty glass. He was grateful not to be fretting over the Order at the moment-or the fact that Greyback had yet to approach him.

That had been troubling him since his first conversation with Dumbledore. Dumbledore assured Remus that his invitation to join the Order was because of his proficiency in dueling and ability to teach; his being a werewolf able to go undercover was basically just a perk for the group. Though, Remus trusted Dumbledore more than anyone else, he still had knots in his stomach about that statement.

Confidence in his dueling capabilities were low-unjustly so. Remus was probably one of the most skilled wizards in the Order.

However, his lack of confidence resulted in a desire to put himself in harm's way. Harm's way being undercover with Greyback.

The way Remus saw it, he could only earn his keep by having something to report on what Greyback was planning for Voldemort. If he was not sought out by Fenrir's pack soon, Dumbledore would surely be disappointed. At least that's how Remus saw it.

Someone hopped up on a barstool beside Remus. He peeked out of the corner of his eye to see a petite, brunette girl gazing at him. He slowly averted his eyes, not in the mood to talk.

"I saw you looking at me," she said in a raspy voice.

Remus leaned forward on his elbows and exhaled through his nose. He turned his eyes to her and smiled wryly.

"I'm sorry but I think I've given you the wrong impression. I'm j-"

"You're friend told me you'd say that," she giggled.

Remus looked over his shoulder at a smiling Sirius. Typical move of him. Always concerned about Remus enjoying himself. Perhaps that's what made Remus like him so much. Despite his unnecessary and usually unwarranted assistance, Remus saw what he was trying to do. Trying to make sure his best mate was happy. Sometimes he even succeeded, mostly on accident.

Remus smiled and playfully rolled his eyes. He would humor the girl momentarily, give her a good snog and be on his way. Nothing more. Sirius would be pleased to see that Remus took advantage of the opportunity that he had presented him with and maybe, just maybe Remus would actually enjoy it.

"I'm Remus," he said turning back to the girl.

She grinned and nodded.

"I know. I'm Selena," she said extending her hand.

Remus took it gently.

"What are you drinking, Selena?"

"Black Velvet."

Remus nodded and ordered her a drink.

Talking to Selena was surprisingly easy. She wasn't particularly bright and she completed most of their conversations without Remus. The topics consisted of school, her hair, her favorite television programs and embarrassing stories from her later school years.

Eventually Selena brought up her past relationships. The first step Remus had noticed women took when trying to physically interact with him.

"My last boyfriend, he…he wasn't like you. He didn't listen to me… He didn't have such beautiful eyes…" Selena whispered leaning in.

Remus inhaled through his mouth, struggling to keep the stench of alcohol from Selena's mouth away from his nostrils. If he took in shallow breaths through his mouth, he could suppress gagging. He would just have to take intermediate breaks between each kiss.

Her eyes closed and their lips met. All thoughts left Remus' mind. The kiss, of course, was meaningless. Perhaps that was why it was so good for him. For once he wasn't letting knots form in his stomach over the Order. His mind was completely free.

Their tongues danced, although if they were doing an actual dance, it would be a toddler attempting to perform an intricate ballet number. Sirius had planned this. He picked a perfect girl-one with hardly any brain who was already a bit tipsy and let the pieces fall into place. Sirius had known Remus was in need of a meaningless, physical affair. He'd known that if anything was going to get his mind off of this undercover, werewolf business it was a futile snog.

'_That sly, sod,'_ Remus thought, continuing to kiss Selena.

After a few moments, the snog was over. Selena pulled back and stared into Remus' eyes with pure seduction. He knew what was coming next.

"Wanna come back to my place, then?" she whispered with a devilish grin.

Remus sighed and shook his head slowly.

"No, Selena. I don't," he replied, a small smile on his lips.

Selena's brows furrowed and she appeared completely bewildered. Remus could tell that she was not quite used to rejection. She leaned away from him.

"We can go to your place too," offered Selena, meekly.

Remus quickly thought up the most gentlemanly and kind excuse he could.

"I'm sorry, Selena, but I'm afraid I care too much about you now to take advantage of you while you're intoxicated. Maybe next time, darling."

Remus swiftly slid off of his barstool, cupped Selena's cheek and kissed the top of her head. He turned around and found Sirius sitting in the corner sandwiched between four, lovely girls. Remus smiled to himself and buttoned up his pea-coat. Sirius finally looked away from the pretty girl on his left and met Remus' gaze. Remus nodded giving him a grateful smile then offered a small wave.

"Leaving?" mouthed Sirius.

Remus looked around the bar then back to Selena who was blushing furiously, still sipping her seventh Black Velvet. Remus turned back to look at Sirius and shrugged. He tipped his chin in approval and resumed his conversation with the eager girls nibbling on his ear.

Remus popped the collar of his coat to guard his neck from the cool, summer air and headed for the door. As he stepped outside there was an immediate air of danger. He glanced down at his watch with the gnarled leather band. It was a little after midnight. The scarceness of people wasn't that strange. As he continued towards his flat, his spine tingled with something more than fear…but with a sort of foreshadowing almost. He looked up to the streetlights. One by one they started to flicker out.

Then it all went dark.


	8. Chapter 8-There and Black Again

**Chapter Eight**

**There and Black Again**

After everything went dark, a surge of pain went through Remus' head. That was the last thing he could remember before he came to.

His eyes opened to see a dim light slightly obscured by something. A bag? He looked out of the corner of his eyes to see more things obscured by the same object. Then he realized that there was a bag on his head.

Remus attempted to reach up and snatch it off but to no avail. His arms were bound behind his back. He shifted a little to discover that he was sitting in a sort of rickety chair, then he became aware of the throbbing in his head.

Remus struggled to recall the past events that had led to this predicament.

The pub.

A few drinks.

Selena.

Snogging Selena.

Refusing an invitation for a good shag.

Saying goodbye to Sirius.

Leaving the pub.

Everything going dark.

And that was all he could manage to remember.

"That's him, then?" asked a gruff voice.

Obviously male.

Whoever he was speaking to must have responded because the gruff voice continued to speak.

"Doesn't look like much to me. Why does Greyback want him so badly?" he asked.

"Because he's Dumbledore's little pet werewolf. One of the apples of his eye. Fenrir's hoping to be able to get the information on this secret organization through this one. Try and persuade him to join us and Voldemort so we can finally rise to our place in society," a deep, female voice said.

Suddenly, the bag was yanked off Remus' head. A bright light shined in his eyes causing him to squint. It only amplified the waves of agony going through his skull.

Before him stood a short, stout silhouette of a man and beside him a willowy woman's shadow casted long by a tall stand with a light atop. He narrowed his eyes trying to identify them, but he couldn't.

"Are you Remus Lupin?" asked the girl.

Remus nodded, blinking quickly to try and adjust his eyes to the harsh lighting.

"And you were bitten by Fenrir Greyback as a child?" she clarified.

"Yeah. Yeah, I was," Remus grunted, squirming slightly so he could sit up straighter.

Though he couldn't make out their eyes, Remus could tell that they were be staring at him with anxious, searching eyes.

"Alright. When exactly were you bitten?"

"Sister Winona, he's already said it's him," the man said in a confused tone.

"We need to be sure before we take him to Greyback. If we waste his time we'll end up like Sister Marta and Sister Frannie. Dead in an alley," the girl named Winona replied darkly.

How many people had been searching for him and brought in the wrong man?

"Now, Mr. Lupin, when were you bitten?" she asked slowly.

"On my...on my fifth birth...birthday," he panted, trying bite back cries of pain.

The brutal blow to the head had caused a piercing feeling that drummed in his temples.

The silhouette of Winona's head tilted to the side in an almost methodical fashion.

"Very good. Brother Roman, watch him while I go fetch Greyback."

The sound of their footsteps crunched. Remus looked down to see that the floor was made up of cement with broken, pavement rocks scattered about. Where was he? It was too dark to be a warehouse. Too cold to be a house. Remus jumped in surprise as something wet hit his nose. He looked up to see pure blackness above him. Another drop of water hit his face.

"Am I...underground?" asked Remus hoarsely.

The large silhouette of Roman stood silently, not answering Remus' question.

Remus' eyes slowly began to adjust to the bright light shining in his face. He still had to squint but not as tightly as before.

Then it hit him.

For the first time in sixteen years he would be encountering the man who had changed his life forever. Forever...for the worst.

Many emotions flowed through him.

Fear.

Happiness.

Anger.

Sorrow.

He didn't know which to choose.

Remus feared this man. The man who had crept into his room one night and sank his teeth into his shoulder. The man with eyes black as night that still haunted him.

Then again, Remus was happy. It felt mental to be so happy. For one, he would be getting the desired information for Dumbledore, but more importantly he would be getting closure. He would be speaking with, and possibly confronting, the man who he spat on for years.

However, that was where the anger set in. This man had caused Remus to miss out on so many things. In general, Remus was generally a merciful person. Despite that, try as he might, he could never quite forgive Greyback. Understandably so.

Cue sorrow. The second Greyback approached him, Remus would have to treat him like an idol. He was going undercover as a werewolf eager to join Greyback's Voldemort serving army. Remus couldn't do that if he was constantly glaring at Greyback and reciting the biting remarks he had rehearsed in his head during his Hogwarts years.

Then the footsteps sounded.

Much like the ones before, the ground was crunching. However, this time the footsteps were heavier. Much heavier.

A silhouette started to grow in size. Broad shouldered and at least six feet and five inches tall. It lumbered closer, standing at Roman's side.

"Leave us, Brother Roman."

That voice. That guttural growl of a tone. It was him. Greyback. To be honest, Remus had never really heard Greyback speak. Somehow, though, he knew it was Greyback. The voice was so sinister and so full of vehemence it could only belong to a man who delighted in attacking children and ruining their lives forever.

"You are Remus Lupin."

It wasn't a question. Also his name coming from Greyback's mouth sent chills down his spine.

"Yes," Remus replied, attempting to sound strong.

"Do you know who I am?"

"I do," Remus nodded.

"Do you know why you are here?"

'Do I lie? Should I lie?'

"I have a...general idea," replied Remus attempting to appear impassive.

"I bit you, Remus Lupin. On your fifth birthday, I bit you."

_'How do I respond to that? Thank you?'_ Remus thought to himself.

Remus stared at the silhouette of Greyback, trying to look into what he thought were where his eyes were. He still couldn't make out his features.

"I'm aware," Remus countered, his expression blank.

There was a long pause. Greyback's head tilted to the side as he studied Remus.

Remus swallowed trying his best not to seem intimidated. A low chuckle sounded from where Greyback stood, making Remus' breathe quicken-though he hid it well.

"You look just like you father."

Under normal circumstances, Remus may have thanked him. However, Greback hated Lyall Lupin and if Remus wanted to be invited into his little 'cult' he may have to as well.

"Can we just...just not talk about my father?" Remus gasped, trying to regain strength.

"Not a fan of ol' daddy anymore, are we?"

Remus summoned the strength to shake his head.

Greyback stepped into the light and Remus had to fight the strong urge to gape. How could this even be a human?

His eyes were black as coals, no whites visible. They glistened with a type of malice that burned into Remus' soul. Somehow, the bridge of his nose had flattened giving him an even more animalistic appearance. He bared his teeth in a sadistic grin as he approached Remus, revealing that they had been filed into points. Every visible inch of skin was covered in dark, coarse hair. He wore a long, leather coat that exposed his firm abdomen and his pants were tattered in numerous places until they reached the tops of powerful calves. Beneath the calves were bare feet with gnarled toes that looked like they had never worn shoes. They resembled the paws of a large animal, though maintained a reasonably human alikeness.

It took everything in him not to gag at the stench emitting from his breath.

"Can I take that as a 'yes', Little Lupin?" he said with a dark laugh.

Remus' brows furrowed as he watched Greyback's dark eyes dance with mocking.

"Shall we just cut to the chase then?" asked Greyback inquisitively.

Remus sighed and nodded limply. Greyback braced his hands on his knees so that he was eye level with Remus. Remus met his gaze, struggling to raise his chin and not show how exhausted he was.

Something about looking into Greyback's cold, dark eyes made his skin crawl…but also filled him with relief. This man was disgusting. A worthless creature filled with malice that attacked children. It was enough to make any person feel tremors going down his spine. However, the relief frightened Remus. He was staring right into the eyes of the man who had ruined his life forever. The man who was responsible for Remus' minimal chance at a happy life. The man who had mauled him as a child. Yet, the anger he had felt at first was completely gone. It was filled with something more. Closure.

A strange sort of closure.

"You've heard that I am forming an army. An army for the one who is rising to power. Do you know his name?" Greyback questioned curiously.

It took everything in Remus not to roll his eyes. Everyone in the wizarding world knew Voldemort's name. Greyback's melodramatic introduction to this offer was almost exhausting. Just when Remus assumed he had the situation under control, his darker side took over. The relaxed from the feeling of closure disappeared and instead was replaced by irritation.

"Yes, it's Voldemort. Enough with the theatrics. You want me to join this army," snapped Remus.

Greyback raised a brow causing Remus' heart to beat rapidly. Had he blown his cover? He couldn't have. No.

Greyback's lips split into a wide grin, his sharpened, yellow teeth bared. He chuckled then stood up, pacing and pointing at Remus.

"I like it. I do. You want to get right to it. That's exactly what I'm looking forward in my recruits" Greybacks smiled, continuing to walk back and forth. "You must prove yourself worthy first, I'm afraid."

"How so?" questioned Remus.

Greyback stopped suddenly and turned to Remus.

"Answer a few questions, to start."

"Go on," Remus prompted.

Greyback folded his arms and looked down at Remus.

"What do you hope to gain from joining this brotherhood?"

Remus scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"You haven't even told me what this army gets out of serving Voldemort!"

Greyback pointed at Remus again.

"Point taken," Greyback grinned.

He began to pace once more, eyes skyward as though trying to remember the lyrics to a popular song.

"What has the wizarding society ever done for our kind, Remus? Spat on us. Rejected us. Cast us into the shadows to be forgotten until they need a scapegoat for crimes they cause. They are…" he paused, smiling slightly. "…less than hospitable to our kind."

"And this Voldemort is going to change that?" smirked Remus.

Greyback released a low laugh and faced Remus again, black eyes glistening with seemingly obvious expectations of something greater.

"Precisely. Lord Voldemort is very powerful."

'_He's a 'lord' now?'_ Remus thought, pursing his lips.

"When he comes to power, the Ministry will be abolished. Replaced by his loyal followers-including us. When the Ministry is abolished, so will all of its frivolous rules and regulations. With those rules and regulations…the Werewolf Regulation and Decree and of 1755."

Remus fought off the urge for his jaw to drop. The Decree of 1755 was the one that basically allowed all witches and wizards to discriminate against werewolves without consequence. It restricted most werewolves from having jobs within the Ministry or in any upper class line of work. It was also the document that ordered the Ministry to brand all werewolves. That Decree basically savaged all chances werewolves had at an esteemed or even decent quality of living.

"That's right, Little Lupin. You'll be free to put those smarts to use. Become a Professor or, hell, even work for The Ministry," Greyback said gravely.

Remus narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to the side. This had to be a lie. Greyback was lying. Or was he? Was Voldemort playing him like a violin?

"Why would Voldemort help us?"

"Because we'll help him. He's going to put our…talents to use."

He swallowed as Greyback closed the small distance between the two of them and knelt before him. His eyes were wild with promise and malice.

"What does that mean? Our talents."

"I think you know what that means, Little Lupin. On the full moons, we'll accompany him for raids. We'll get our fill and simultaneously…create a larger army for him."

Remus blinked, bewildered. What did this mean? Not what he thought it meant… It did though. It did.

"You're saying that not only will be…murdering people…but we'll be infecting them as well?" Remus clarified, his voice cracking slightly.

"Think of it as…purification. There is strength in numbers. Ours can grow. It's a win-win with Voldemort. Join us and reap the rewards. You are more than capable and you know it…" Greyback smiled wickedly. "You know it, don't you?"

Remus inhaled and exhaled through his nose, eyes still narrowed.

"Well?" Greyback prompted standing upright.

Remus knew that he had to say yes. He couldn't yet though. Not just yet. For now he had to appear impassive and calculating so as not to seem suspicious. If he shouted an instantaneous yes, it would assuredly tip him off. Someone as clever as Remus needed to look as though weighing his options rather than accomplishing part of a mission.

"Well, Remus? What'll it be?" asked Greyback impatiently.

Remus sighed and opened his mouth to answer. Before he could speak, Greyback's fist met his temple causing his vision to blur. Remus blinked himself back into focus and slowly looked at Greyback.

"Choose wisely, Little Lupin. There is a wrong answer. One that will leave you with an obliviated mind and two broken legs."

"Yes. Yes, I'll join," Remus wheezed.

Greyback clasped his hands together and smiled grandly.

"That's the right choice, Remus. We'll contact you when we need you next. When the trials commence."

"Trials?"

"To prove your worth. We don't need weaklings. You'll face a series of trials to show us that you can pull your weight and do what needs to be done. Understand?"

'_That can't be any good…'_

"Just…just let me know then, I s'pose."

Greyback gave a nod and looked over his shoulder.

"Roman! Come here!" he called.

Remus' vision blurred again. Alcohol and numerous blows to the head weren't a good mix. He pursed his lips and cleared his throat, trying to make everything come back into focus. The bright light wasn't helping.

Brother Roman's heavy footsteps sounded and got louder as he approached the scene.

"Show Mr. Lupin out. Make sure he isn't too banged up. We need him," Greyback sighed, pushing up the sleeves of his coat.

"Yes, Sir."

Greyback reared back his fist and quicker than Remus could brace himself, his knuckles hit him in the face. Then it all went black again. 


	9. Chapter 9-Debriefing

**Chapter Nine**

**Debrief**

It was four thirty in the morning and Sirius had yet to sleep. Not that he hadn't tried. Between the banging headaches from all the alcohol, the quick shag with Vanessa at her apartment and apparating he found himself driven restless. Then there was the fact that he hadn't seen Remus since he left the bar. It had been hours.

'Take some more of that muggle headache medicine then go looking for him,' Sirius thought.

Sirius slowly sat up from the sofa and braced his hands on his knees, pushing himself into a standing position with a grunt.

After a brief expelling of his bowels into the toilet and tossing back three, large pills he slipped on his jacket and left the flat.

The sky was a very dark, almost black, purple. A few straggling muffles remained out on the streets staggering about drunkenly.

Sirius resolved to retrace his steps back to the bar and check every alley and bench. He'd 'alahamora' his way into a closed bar if need be. If he was being honest, the fact that Remus was missing had his stomach in knots.

Sirius balled his fists so tight that the knuckles began to turn white and shoved them in the pockets of his leather jacket. His eyes scanned the area for any sign of Remus and he found himself almost removing his wand from the back of his jeans to cast an 'accio' spell that would bring Remus to him.

'For the last time, Sirius, you cannot summon humans with 'accio.' You'll just have to go talk to that girl,' he recalled Remus saying when they'd been in Hog's Head once.

Sirius smiled slightly at the memory. It was odd for him to be looking after Remus. He usually only did that once a month and outside of that, a majority of the time, Remus was watching after him.

As he continued to scan alleys and benches and the faces of wobbling drunks he felt his feet come to a halt. Something had told him to freeze. Something deep within that warned him Remus was practically right next to him and _not_ okay.

Sirius' brows furrowed and he surveyed the area as he detected the sound of labored breathing. Deep and wheezing.

It was coming from his left. Slowly, Sirius turned his head. On the ground in the alley, bottom half barely illuminated by a solitary street lamp was a young man. He wore a pair of scuffed up shoes and his jeans were worn in the knees as though he'd been dragged.

Slowly, Sirius approached the crumpled up figure in the alley.

Quickly surveying the area for any muggles, Sirius removed his wand. No one in sight.

"_Lumos_," Sirius murmured.

The tip of his wand lit up revealing the horrifying image of a _very_ injured Remus Lupin before him.

His coat was open revealing a tee shirt with drops of blood on it.

Sirius quickly knelt beside Remus and with a shaking hand held his wand at an angle where he could see his face.

"Bloody hell..." Sirius breathed.

Remus' lip was busted and his cheekbone had a gash on it, running perpendicular to one of the long scars across his face. A black eye was forming by his left temple and his nose bled profusely. Remus trembled hugging his sides on the ground.

"What in the blood hell happened to you?" Sirius muttered to himself quietly.

Remus was either in too much pain to answer or unconscious.

"Alright, mate. Let's get you some help..."

Sirius' panicked mind searched for a solution. He could apparate them both somewhere if he focused enough. Lyall's place? No. He couldn't help. Dumbledore's office? No. Remus would not want Dumbledore's to see him like this. James and Lily? No. He couldn't worry them with this-especially with a pregnant Lily; they could see Remus when he was better. A hospital? No. They'd notice blood abnormalities in Remus. Mungos? No. The wait would be tremendous.

_'I'll just have to take him home and patch him up best I can,' _resolved Sirius.

Placing a hand on Remus' shoulder, Sirius focused on the flat. Then stopped and was hit with an idea.

"Marlene..." breathed Sirius, remembering she worked at Mungos.

She was a Healer and a good friend of Remus'. Surely she could help.

_'Focus. Apparate him to the flat. Apparate to Mungos and find Marlene. Focus.'_

Sirius Black was not really the 'responsible' type, but when it came to his friends he always found a way to be. A way to make things right.

O*O*O*O

"You foun' im' this way?"

It was the voice of a woman. Thick but still kind and feminine. Remus couldn't quite place it though. The veil of disorientation caused by devastating blows to the face didn't help him. Right now, his head was pounding and his face felt as though someone had stomped on it with a steel-toed boot. His ribs burned and there was a stinging on his cheek.

"Yeah. He was in an alley about five blocks from his flat. I dunno what happened."

Sirius.

Remus heard the clambering of what sounded like bottles and running water from his sink.

"Honestly, Sirius, I'm really not as experienced as Marlene. I'm still trainin'. I can't do much. I strongly sugges' you let me sen' her over when her shift ends."

"Just do what you can to tide him over before she gets off. That's all I need, Dorky-erm-Dorcas," stammered Sirius.

_'Dorcas?'_ Remus thought through his haze.

"Alrigh', Remus, I dunno if you can hear me but I'm gonna hafta' check an' see what's broken. It may hurt. You don' hafta' answer. Just sit tigh'."

He felt pressure on his torso and groaned in pain. Three fingers prodded at his chest.

"Two ribs are broken..." he heard her murmur.

Her gentle hands felt his body, eventually touching his face.

"Alrigh', this will really hurt if it's broken... I'm gonna touch ye're nose..."

There was a sharp pain that surged through his nose and he gasped out in pain. What had she done?

"Broken. No surprise. It was swellin' like a soddin' balloon," she said with a light laugh. "He's got a bad fever too."

"Well? What are you gonna do?" Sirius asked impatiently.

He heard Dorcas sigh loudly.

"All tha' I can. I can set the nose with a simple charm but I'll have to set the ribs by hand. His eye is swollen shut so you'll need to ice tha'. Erm... I may be able to heal the cut, but I really am not too familiar with that charm jus' yet and don't have all the proper ointments..."

"Then leave the cut to Marlene. I can't have you trying to heal it with a spell and giving him a Hippogriff head on accident," snickered Sirius, trying to appear nonchalant.

"Tha' was one time, Sirius," Dorcas retorted flatly.

Remus heard Sirius laugh quietly.

"Okay, so the numbin' spell...it's a hard one and if done incorrectly can cause paralysis. He can either wait for Marlene to set the bones and get the pain numbed or let me do it now."

Another pause and sigh.

"Erm...well..." Sirius stuttered.

A small chuckle sounded suddenly close to Remus' ear.

"We'll leave tha' to her then. I'll fix the nose and sanitize the cut."

Remus hissed in pain as a wet cloth dabbed at the gash on his cheek, making it burn.

"Sh..." soothed Dorcas' voice.

Eventually Remus heard the swish of a wand and a swift crack. His nose.

"Agh!" he spat as an extreme surge of pain went through the bridge of his nose.

"Oh, you're fine," Dorcas said dismissively.

If Remus hadn't been in so much agony, he may have laughed at her cavalier attitude. However, now every inch of him was throbbing with pain.

"Well, sorry I couldn't do more, Sirius."

"No, no! I just appreciate you even coming. Really."

"Mungos didn't miss me. I'm only an intern."

"Well, what should I do to manage his pain?" Sirius asked in a concerned tone.

"Erm...sadly, there are some things magic can't help. Even Marlene won' be able to completely subside the pain. I'd jus' give im' some muggle pain killers an' ice his nose an' eye. That swellin' should go down before Marlene gets here to set the ribs and heal that gash," replied Dorcas.

Remus was barely aware of his surroundings but it sounded like Dorcas' visit was drawing to a close. Probably about to leave. Remus was disappointed that he couldn't thank her before she disappeared, but every time he went to open his mouth his busted lip would sting and his bruised jaw would sing grand opera.

"Again, thanks."

"Sure, sure. Oh, now tha' I think about it, this pain? His lycanthropic DNA is too strong for muggle pain killers. Maybe let im' take about five then wait thirty minutes an' have him take a good ol' swig of Firewhiskey to give the pills a little kick, yeah?"

An uncomfortable silence was tangible. Remus could practically see Sirius rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly and avoiding Dorcas' piercing gaze as he spoke.

"Th-thanks for not-you know-erm...telling everyone about Remus' little...his..."

"Furry little problem?" Dorcas replied flatly.

"Yeah. That. I-erm-hope you'll continue to use discretion when-"

"Only me an' Marlene know. Don't worry."

"Right. Good. Of course."

"Well...cheers."

There was a loud crack. Remus could tell Dorcas had apparated.

_**That night...**_

"I need to shower or something," Remus grunted from his sitting position on the bed.

He shifted slightly to stand.

"No. No. Marlene said not to move. Dumbledore won't care if you smell. Besides, you smell like dandelions to me," Sirius said with a shrug, putting on a pot of tea.

It was humorous the way that Sirius had been behaving since Marlene had stitched Remus up. It was almost maternal. He had prepared Remus tea and gave him medicine. Made sure he didn't move and adjusted the television rods when the picture got fuzzy.

Now Dumbledore was on the way to debrief Remus on the events that had occurred with Greyback. Though Marlene had healed the gash and began to mend his bones, he still looked worse for wear. He could quit wincing as he felt the bones in his chest slowly connect and heal. The sped up healing of his black eye had sent it into the stage where it was dark purple, contrasting with his sickly complexion dramatically. The swelling from his busted lip had gone down but there was still a small mark from where it had split down the middle.

Remus did not look well and smelling like sweat certainly didn't make him feel any better. Deep down he knew Sirius was right. Remus was supposed to remain bed ridden and if he were to attend work tomorrow then he would need to follow Marlene's instructions of staying put and ingesting water, pain killers and a little Firewhiskey.

"Don't you have any expensive cologne you could lend me?" groaned Remus hugging his bare chest that was bound in white gauze.

He could feel the bones starting to meet in the middle.

"It was in my luggage," replied Sirius flatly.

"What about the stuff James lent you? Did he give you anything?"

"Remus, you smell fine. Especially for a bloke who just had the shite beat out of him. Quit being a twat and watch telly. Dumbledore couldn't care less what you smell like anyway."

Sirius washed two ceramic coffee mugs in the sink(the only two Remus owned). Remus frowned.

"I'm sorry you have to take care of me like this."

Sirius barked, laughing. He looked at Remus, brows furrowed and a grin on his face.

"Moony, it's not like I haven't done this before. This is sort of an annual thing for me. That's the third time you've apologized for being injured. Quit it. It makes me feel guilty for not apologizing when you take care of me after I get completely pissed."

Remus chuckled and turned his attention to the television where a man and woman spoke animatedly at a restaurant. Sirius refused to put on the news stating that the last thing Remus needed to do was worry over "daft muggle affairs."

"You sure you don't want to talk about it until Dumbledore gets here?" asked Sirius preparing a cup of tea for Remus.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I don't want to relive that…situation more than I have to," Remus said in a voice as strong as he could muster.

Sirius walked to Remus' bedside and handed over the cup of tea.

"Thanks, mum," Remus smirked accepting it.

There was a loud crack and Dumbledore appeared in the center of the apartment, with a kind but expectant expression on his face.

"Evening, gentlemen," he smiled.

"Hey, Professor. You want a cup of tea? Remus and I were just having one ourselves."

"No thank you. I'm sure that Remus is more than a little bit exhausted. I'll just get the story and be on my way. Remus, if you don't mind," prompted Dumbledore, sitting at the foot of Remus' bed.

Remus took a deep breath and propped himself up slightly, clearing his throat.

"He's got some sort of brotherhood going on. Voldemort has convinced him that he will abolish the Werewolf Decree and provide them with…hunting material if they turn more wizards to fight for him. Also, while I was slightly incapacitated I heard two of his followers saying that Greyback knows I'm fighting for you. I think his plan is to convince me too be a double agent for him."

"I'm guessing he bribed you as well," Dumbledore implied.

Remus shrugged taking a sip of his tea.

"Same bribe as he's offered everyone else. Fight for him, get offered human targets and live a life where I don't have to exist under the Werewolf Decree. I have a feeling he's bluffing though. I think Voldemort has promised Greyback a place at his side in exchange for disposable military recruits. It just doesn't make sense. Most werewolves are either halfbloods or squibs. Why would Voldemort want to reward and keep around the very people he's trying to eliminate?"

Dumbledore seemed to think about it for a moment, contemplating Remus' assumption. It made sense. Remus had always been clever and able to read people like a book. He had a good point. This Voldemort person would never look powerful if he had an army of lowlifes on his side. Lowlifes he promised his wizard, pureblood Army that he would dispose of.

"But he only asked you to join his army? He hasn't asked you to spy yet, Remus?" he clarified.

"I think he wants to gain my trust first."

Sirius leaned against the wall by the door, watching the conversation take place with unsure eyes. This was dangerous. Kindhearted, gentle Remus interacting with brutal, malicious Greyback. Hardly the recipe for a good idea.

"Are you still okay with going undercover, Remus?"

Remus opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by a very angry Sirius.

"You're joking, right? He's been beaten half to death and you want to send him underground? Why would you even consider that? Clearly, Remus is not up to the par Greyback's standards? Remus won't attack a human! That's against everything he believes in! You can't ask him to compromise that!"

"Sirius, please relax," Remus sighed.

Sirius couldn't decide if he was angry with Remus for even considering this suicide mission or Dumbledore for using one of the most loyal, respectful, innocent people for such a life threatening task. As 'readymade' as Remus seemed for the task…he wasn't. Remus would never and could never kill someone. His worst nightmare was contaminating an innocent human being. How could Dumbledore ask him to make that nightmare a reality? He knew Remus would say yes. After all, Remus felt forever in Dumbledore's debt and that was no secret. In Sirius' eyes, Dumbledore was taking advantage of Remus.

"I would never ask this of Remus if he hadn't agreed to it in the first place. I spoke with Remus when we met at Hogwarts that day. He said he would gladly assist me," Dumbledore replied calmly.

"Of course he would say yes! He feels like he owes you the world! You know that! You're taking advantage of him!"

"Sirius…" Remus warned.

"You know I'm right, Remus! You know that you wouldn't do this for anyone else!"

"Enough!" Remus snapped.

Sirius blinked in surprise. Remus rarely yelled so when he did, Sirius found himself automatically listening. In the end, whenever Remus reacted that harshly, he usually had a good point. Sirius folded his arms, his face taking on the expression of an indignant child.

"Sirius, there's nothing wrong with me repaying Dumbledore for what he's done. That's what people do. I think you seriously underestimate me. It's almost insulting. I can handle myself. I can do what needs to be done. You just need to trust me. There's nothing wrong with repaying someone," Remus explained calmly.

Sirius looked from Dumbledore's twinkling eyes to his friend twice. Finally, he sighed and raised his hands in submission walking to the stove and setting the kettle in the sink.

"Fine, but if you end up beaten and bloodied again don't say I didn't warn you," he grumbled.

Dumbledore stood and walked towards the door, then stopped, turning suddenly.

"By the way, gentlemen, this apartment is far too small and…pardon me, shabby, for you to both be living in. I have no qualms with you both living in the safe house. After all, Remus it may be more convenient for you on moons if you don't get selected from the lottery. Just something to think about."

There was a loud crack and Dumbledore was gone. Remus looked at Sirius, wide eyed.

"Yes. We are saying yes to that offer. We move into that place tomorrow. Talk to Miss Landlord Lady and get your deposit then we go," Sirius said running to the couch and throwing himself onto it.

Sure, last night had been a bust. However, right now? Right now, things were very, very good.


	10. Chapter 10-Discussing Dorcas

**Chapter Ten**

**Discussing Dorcas**

"First order of business, Sirius and Remus are now residing here. They have volunteered to keep guard almost 24/7. Let's give them a hand," Dumbledore prompted with a kind smile.

A soft applause sounded from the various members of the Order around the table. Remus and Sirius accepted with subtle nods.

"That actually brings us to our next order of business. Remus, you have the floor," Dumbledore said taking his seat at the head of the table.

Remus stood. Despite his lack of public speaking and particular dislike of being in the spotlight, he was a good public speaker. Not a bad leader either. Remus had even talked James and Sirius out of more malignant and expulsion-worthy pranks in their Hogwarts years merely with his words.

"It's come to my understanding for some time that we all must learn how to properly conjure a patronus that can deliver messages. Professor Dumbledore has been very reliable in gathering us with his own, but we have to face reality. Sometimes people other than him will have to summon us to this location or deliver unfortunate or even dangerous news. Owls can be intercepted and sometimes apparation isn't an option. That being said, we must all learn to perform a live patronus spell that not only takes a form but also can deliver messages."

All eyes studied Remus. Sirius beamed up at him with Peter at his side listening eagerly. James sat beside Lily, his arm draped over her shoulders. You could barely tell she was pregnant. Dorcas sat beside Marlene with Gideon and Fabian on her right. She had her elbows propped up with her chin resting on her fists, her dirty blonde hair up in a bun with stray pieces framing her face.

Remus cleared his throat.

"So, erm-not to brag but, I'm actually rather proficient in the area of patronuses and Dumbledore has requested that I teach you all how to produce a proper patronus to deliver messages."

More silence. Remus swallowed. He didn't have stage fright but the fact that everyone was looking at him made chills run down his spine. He spent years trying to be invisible and when a crowd took notice of him he would find himself in a slight state of panic. Not in fear of public speaking but in terror of somehow being found out.

"I mean, most of you are probably well versed in the conjuring of a patronus, but if any of you need a hand learning I'm happy to help. After this meeting is adjourned anyone who wants to learn can meet me in the parlor. Just to get a general idea, who will need help?" asked Remus, brows furrowed.

Immediately, Sirius' hand shot up with Dorcas following his abrupt suit. James and Lily raised their hands as well. Slowly every one began to raise their hands. Peter last. The only ones with their hands down were Frank Longbottom, Dumbledore, McGonagall and surprisingly, Caradoc.

"Right. Okay. Well, it's a lot easier than it seems so...I'll see you all after this."

And in that moment, Remus Lupin felt helpful. Felt above average. All because no one knew what he was. They didn't see a werewolf. What they saw was a talented wizard.

"The first step is pretty easy but not as easy as it seems. You need to think of a happy memory. Not a memory like you were so happy that time you got a new book. Something better. Emotional. This is because, traditionally, as you already know, they are meant to fend off Dementors. You'd think it would be more simple if you're only conjuring one to deliver a message but it simply isn't. So-erm, let's all gather a happy memory," shrugged Remus.

The group stood in a semi-circle, Remus standing before them. Some of them looked at the ceiling, eyes narrowed as they struggled to conjure a happy memory while others looked downward, brows furrowed."

Remus chose his usual happy memory. The one with James, Sirius and Peter the day they announced they were working towards becoming animagi so as to help Remus through transformations. That was the one. It was the happiest he'd ever felt, being accepted by his peers even with the knowledge of what he was with them. Remus knew his friends' memories.

Sirius always used the day that he moved in with the Potters.

Peter always used the memory of his dad returning home after years of being missing.

James thought about the first time he asked out Lily and she said yes-though now it had probably changed to the news of him becoming a dad.

Remus had known that Sirius, Lily and James were lying when they raised their hands asking for assistance with the patronus charm. They were only doing what they did best. Inspiring others. Seeing the talented James, Lily and Sirius admit they needed help had given the others the push they needed to accept Remus' invitation.

Each Marauder's patronus reflected their animagus. Well except for Remus whose patronus was sadly a wolf.

Lily's was a doe.

"So focus on your happy memory, flourish your wand like so," Remus said, lazily pointing to himself then extending his arm, "then say expecto patronum. It sounds easy, but don't be too discouragedf if you don't get it right. So everyone give it a go then."

'Expecto patronums' rang out over the group. Thin wisps formed. Remus pursed his lips.

"Right. Let's go outside then. There's not enough space here."

Part of the reason he chose for them to go outside had to do with the amount of room they had to practice, however there was another agenda. The sun was out. That would assist greatly with a happy memory and after seeing almost every wizard barely conjure a smoky shield of white, Remus realized that they needed all the help they could get with these happy memories. After all, how easy was it to focus on happiness when you were hiding inside of a safe house planning a life risking strategy to defeat a genocidal wizard.

Once more, each of them were reciting the expecto patronum spells. Wisps of white flew from the tips of their wands. James, Lily and Sirius pretended to struggle.

"Yes!"

Remus turned his attention towards the cry of victory.

It had actually been two simultaneous exclamations.

Fabian and Gideon had produced two large, white birds that danced and circled each other. Remus found himself smiling slightly. The patronuses faded causing the twins to frown.

"That was perfect. Well done!" laughed Remus approaching them. "When you want it to deliver a message, you have to focus and sustain its form. Make it listen sort of. Then you simply tell it your message and say the name of the wizard you want it to go to. It's that easy."

Marlene eventually evoked a rabbit from her wand that bounced about happily. She made it deliver a message to Dorcas who smirked when it merely said: 'Oi!'

A fox came from Dorcas' wand prancing about. She said something to it, glancing at Remus out of the corner of her eye. Remus raised a brow. The fox sprinted lithely to Remus then paused before him.

"You look just dashing," it said in Dorcas' voice.

It then dissolved into thin air. Remus slowly turned his gaze back to Dorcas who grinned, winking at him. Remus felt his face get hot as the corner of his lip twitched up into a crooked smile. He averted his eyes to Sirius who was lazily producing a dog from his wand. Lily and James stared at Remus with knowing smiles.

He swallowed and waved at them dismissively, approaching Alice. Her patronus was a furry cat that prowled about the air. She said something to it then watched it run towards the house. Her eyes looked to Remus, she wore a slight smile.

"What did you send to Frank?" asked Remus, knowing she had sent it to him.

Her cheeks flushed and she folded her arms coyly.

"Just that I fancy him."

"Ah," nodded Remus.

"And that we should go for a shag later."

Remus raised his brows at her, she giggled. He followed suit, chuckling quietly.

"Blimey, you're telling the truth," he sighed, smiling.

"Alice, let's go!"

Remus looked to the house where Frank stood on the porch, grinning at Alice. Remus shook his head and laughed softly. Alice looked at him and shrugged again free hand resting on her slightly protruding abdomen.

"There truly are no words that express my marveling at your incredible candor, Alice," Remus snickered.

"Thank you, Remus."

She walked to Remus and gave him a warm embrace. He felt something warm within. This sort of human contact reminded him that despite his condition he acted as someone people liked. Remus hadn't let being a werewolf affect his people skills. If they knew though, would they be so welcoming? He didn't dare wonder. Primarily because he already knew the answer.

After the meeting, Peter, Sirius and Remus returned to Godric's Hollow with James and Lily. They're living room serving as a place of refuge for normalcy.

"So, the moon is in, what? A week?"

Lily elbowed James from her spot on their couch beside him. He hissed in pain.

"What? He knows it's coming!" James asked, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Yeah. A week."

"Are you gonna want us that night or have you gotten in on the lottery?" he further inquired.

"Remus was fortunate enough to get in on the lottery this month, Prongs," Sirius smiled patting Remus on the back, who was sitting in then armchair by the fireplace.

Sirius leaned against the mantle above the fireplace, a glass of scotch in hand. James had stopped drinking since he found out Lily was pregnant. He refused to indulge in liquor or caffeine while she couldn't. Peter sat silently, across the room in another armchair. Like Remus, he was drinking tea.

"Well, you think old Dorky had a hand in getting your name drawn in the lottery, Moony?" snickered Sirius.

Remus looked to Sirius, nonplussed then James and Lily.

This was normally the part where Lily intervened by glaring at someone, yet her eyes held no sign of anger-just knowing. Remus shook his head, hearing a snort come from Peter's direction.

"No. Dorcas is just an intern. If it was anyone it was Marlene. Why are you all so keen on Doe anyway?" Remus asked, raising a brow.

James, Sirius and Peter exchanged humorous glances laughing quietly. Even Lily was smiling with an amused expression. Remus sighed irritatedly. A slight essence of the wolf's aggression emerging. After all, James had been right; he only had a week.

"Mind explaining what's so entertaining?" Remus asked.

The three other Marauders shook their heads with private grins. Lily finally spoke up.

"It's just sort of...sweet how you called her 'Doe.' Only Marlene does. Everyone else still calls her Dorcas...or Dorky," Lily said casting a dark look at Sirius.

He rolled his eyes, waving Lily's glare off dismissively.

"I only do because she told me to!" insisted Remus with the indignation of a petulant child.

Lily smiled at Remus warmly.

"It's okay to like someone, you know," she informed.

Remus set his mug of tea on the coffee table before him and crossed his arms.

"I know that," he mumbled. "I like a lot of people."

Sirius scoffed and faced Remus giving him a knowing look. Remus groaned again and gestured to Sirius with tired eyes.

"What's that for, then?"

"You know what we mean when we say 'like', Remus. Not how you 'like' your family or friends. We are talking about 'like, liking' someone," Sirius replied, his tone was omniscient and wise.

Remus raised a single brow, eyes slightly narrowed.

"Are you ten years old? 'Like, liking' someone?"

"Well, what would you call how you feel about Dorcas?" said Sirius loudly, his eyes burning into Remus.

Lily stared at Sirius, mouth slightly agape. James almost matched her expression except he was looking at Remus as was Peter, his watery eyes wide.

No one had ever asked Remus such a question. They knew how he felt about romantic relationships-especially Sirius. Remus looked at him impassively, he could tell that Sirius regretted mentioning it. Still, Remus could indulge him. Give him a little something to work with. After all, it was a lie if he said that Dorcas wasn't pretty and didn't attract him.

"Well, if I had to..."

"You don't have to, mate. Sorry," grumbled Sirius tossing back the rest of his drink.

"No, I'll humor you," Remus said kindly. "I'm very...interested in her. Impressed even."

Lily smiled at Remus, eyes full of understanding. Sirius ran his fingers through his shaggy, black hair.

"So do you love her?" Peter chimed in.

Sirius' dark eyes snapped in Peter's direction-full of shock. James followed suit with Lily shaking her head. That question was beyond Remus. Beyond anything he knew. He'd never really loved anyone. Not romantically at least. Peter had a record for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. His bedside manner was far from even adequate. That was why he was so quiet.

"No, Peter. I do not love her," Remus replied with a chiding smile. "Love isn't a priority for me. Not that kind, at least. Much like others of my kind...a relationship of that...caliber...is...out of the question, I'm afraid."

He paused.

Remus had said this many times but it never got easier. Especially with Lily and James sitting across from him. The epitome of true love. The epitome of what he would never have.

"Oh, Remus," Lily said tearfully, lifting herself from the couch.

She walked to Remus and wrapped her arms around him. Remus laughed softly and returned her embrace.

"Lily, don't pity me. I'm really fine with it. I've got you all, anyway," Remus said somberly.

It wasn't a lie. Not a total one at least. Remus was more than happy with having solely his realm of friends to comfort him. He was grateful to receive even the love of friendship and family. However, the love of a wife or even a girlfriend was something Remus had always wondered about. However, whenever he found himself wondering he would stop. Keen to keep up the mindset of not missing what he had no idea about.

Lily pulled away and wiped her wet cheeks with the back of her hands.

"I'm sorry. It's just hormones, I s'pose," she sighed.

Lily looked about the room, eyes slightly frantic. James gazed at her, seemingly confused.

"Erm, Sirius let me get you some more scotch. Remus, Peter, I'll make some more tea," she said hoarsely.

She walked about the living room gathering Sirius' empty glass and the two half empty mugs of tea from Peter and Remus. All of the Marauder's glanced at one another, eyes wide in wonderment. Pregnant Lily was a lot more sensitive than Regular Lily. Regular Lily would have scolded Remus for saying such a thing then sought out to make Dorcas his bride. Pregnant Lily cried and replenished their refreshments. It wasn't a bad thing, nor a better thing. Simply out of character.

Lily fled the room with the mugs and glass. All eyes landed on James whose lip twitched up in a half smile.

"Mental, she is. No more so than usual though," he whispered with a shrug.

Sirius blinked in astonishment.

"Moony, I thought she would have slapped you for saying something so morbid. Or set out for Dorcas to marry you!" hissed Sirius.

Remus mirrored James and shook his head.

"It's to be expected. She's got emotions for two, right now."

"When is she due, anyway? Not too soon, I'm guessing?" Peter asked softly.

"Well, she was supposed to be due early September but we just found out she'll be due mid-to-late August. So about four months. Maybe a week more."

"I dunno much about pregnancy, Prongs, but isn't she a bit...small for a bird that's five months along? You can barely tell, mate..."

"Sirius, let's not worry James. I'm sure that Lily is perfectly healthy," Remus said calmly.

"I'm just saying, she should be ballooning out right now."

James exhaled and nodded with a bitter laugh.

"She's hiding it as best she can. Lily is still pretty embarrassed. Both our parents were fairly excited, however she's still a bit reluctant. Trust me. Lily is fine. Like Remus said, she's perfectly healthy."

Lily entered the room holding two mugs of coffee for Peter and Remus and Sirius' glass of scotch. She distributed them with a soft smile and reclaimed her spot beside James. The rest of their conversations that night were lighthearted. No mention of Remus' condition or Lily's pregnancy. It felt just like the old days when they were at Hogwarts, sitting in the common room with each other. When James had finally started dating Lily and they would sit in front of the fireplace and talk into the early hours of the morning.

Such an activity discarded all thoughts of the moon from Remus' mind. He felt normal, though he was anything but. Not because Remus was a werewolf. Because Remus was so much more than met the eye. So much more than the bookish boy with an unruly mop of prematurely greying hair and a lopsided smile that not only melted the hearts of girls but convinced everyone that he was alright. Maybe Remus was alright. Maybe years of telling himself that he was alright conditioned him into believing. However, in this moment, he felt normal. Normal, loved and accepted even as a monster. Genuinely, he was more than alright at that moment.


	11. Chapter 11-Victoria

**Chapter Eleven **

**Trial One**

ONE WEEK LATER

Remus walked inside the werewolf sanctuary wing of Saint Mungos, backpack slung over his shoulder. Marlene was not at her usual post, relieving him somewhat. She definitely needed a night off.

He held his breath as he entered the long hall with cells lining the walls. Remus said silent prayers that Andrew had won the lottery this month. He couldn't imagine that child being locked up in his own home, creating nightmares in the place he probably felt safest. To this day going to the basement of Remus' old home haunted him. Screams of agony from his younger years would echo in his mind.

Various Healers spoke with other werewolves. There were a lot of new faces. People he'd never seen before. It was all vaguely familiar though. Everyone wore the same expression of fear and anxiety. Very few looked as patient and tranquil as Remus. Madame Higgins spoke to a young Healer with her signature, gentle smile. Her eyes met Remus' and she waved delicately. He nodded at her in recognition.

Then Remus remembered why he was walking to cell 43 with such a scrutinizing gaze. Andrew.

Where was he?

"But what if he isn't here tonight?" a child whined.

"I'm sure you'll see him again, love. Just remember how brave you were last time. Think of how brave he was and try to be like him," a woman's kind voice insisted.

"Can you please see if Remus is here yet?" begged the child.

Andrew.

Andrew's mother peeked out from the cell and looked down the hall to the right then the left and saw Remus striding towards them. He gave a subtle wave and small smile. Her face seemed to relax as she ducked back into Andrew's cell.

"Andrew, guess who's here, love?" Remus heard her say.

He walked to cell 37, then stepped into the doorway, standing above Andrew's mother as she knelt in front of him.

Andrew's face split into a wide grin. He waved at Remus with his free hand, the other one clutched a photo. The same one from their first encounter of him with his parents, Remus assumed.

"You came!" Andrew exclaimed. "Mum said that you may not have gotten your name drawn but I told her I had a feeling it did. I knew you'd be here!"

Remus laughed softly.

"Just lucky I guess. I'm glad to see you're here as well."

"I'm going to do just what you said last time, Remus. I'll put away my clothes and my picture so they don't get ruined," nodded Andrew.

Remus smiled warmly and gave Andrew a thumbs up.

"Miss, I'm so sorry but it's time that visitors leave. We'll take good care of your son," the young-faced Healer from before said.

Andrew stood and hugged his mother tightly, knowing it was her cue to leave now too. She kissed his head firmly.

"I love you, Andrew," she whispered, taking his face in her hands.

"I love you, mummy."

Andrew's mother stood and looked to Remus. She offered him a grateful nod and kind smile, though her eyes were glistening with tears. Remus gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder as she walked past him. He could tell as she took her blunt steps down the hall towards the exit that she was struggling not to cry.

"Remus, I have a question," Andrew murmured.

"Okay, make it quick though, mate. I gotta get to my cell-I mean, room very soon."

"I will. Erm...it hurts even before it...it happens. Will it ever...will it ever stop hurting?" he asked in an unsteady voice.

Remus raised his brows. What was the right answer? Lie to him and say 'yes, soon you won't feel a thing.' Maybe such a statement would act as a placebo.

Then again, if it did not then Andrew may feel even more abnormal for not having it wear off.

"You don't seem to be in much pain," Andrew remarked meekly.

Remus decided to go with the truth. That's what he usually did when it came to giving advice and it had never served him wrong in the past. Remus was always honest. Well, almost always. Considering his particular condition there were times when he simply had to lie in order to maintain a somewhat normal lifestyle.

"Well, to be honest, mate, it always hurts."

The flicker of hope in Andrew's eyes died. Remus felt his heart sink.

"Oh," Andrew replied, hanging his head.

"But, hey, listen," Remus said leaning down and tipping Andrew's chin up to look at him. "You learn to deal with it after a bit. See how I am right now? I've learned to deal with it fine. I simply don't think about it."

"It hurts so much I can't quit thinking about it though," sniffed Andrew.

Remus could tell he was fighting back tears.

"Trust me, in good time you'll come to bear it. It's not so hard to ignore," shrugged Remus nonchalantly.

"Why do I get cross so easily before...all of this?"

_'Merlin, give me a break...'_ Remus thought.

How could he tell this child _'that's the wolf starting to take over?_' Remus remembered his reaction to that bit of news. He'd read it in a textbook his second year just after James, Peter and Sirius had figured out what he was. Remus had merely been sitting on his bed, the moon about a week away, reading his text from his Defense Against the Dark Arts book when he'd come across a title page that had made him pause. _'Werewolves-A Darkness Within.'_

He'd read that section against his better judgment to see a sentence stating_: 'the wizard begins to submit to the werewolf's aggression seven days pre-moon. This is one of the slow transitions the wizard makes in the process of becoming the werewolf.'_ The thought that he was not only transforming, but _becoming_ the werewolf had angered him and the oncoming moon had done nothing to soothe that anger.

Remus had thrown the book across the empty dorm startling James, Sirius and Peter. He grabbed the lamp beside his four poster and bulled it at the ground. Then he'd stormed away to the Shrieking Shack where he sat for hours.

Remus didn't have a lot of experience with children. His mother and father had concluded to have no more after Remus' bite for fear harm would come to it. His mother and father had no nieces or nephews to speak of. Occasionally he would see Sirius' little cousin Tonks who adored him, but that was the extent of Remus' knowledge of children.

Remus inhaled deeply through his nose and rubbed the back of his neck anxiously.

"You know, it's just one of the many side effects of our condition," Remus shrugged, being as ambiguous as possible.

"Condition?" asked Andrew confusedly.

Remus sighed once more, grimacing. Using the word 'condition' had always made Remus feel better. So much better than when he'd called it 'curse.' Even though that's what it truly was. A curse. However, once in a while Remus surrendered to the fact that ignorance was bliss in certain circumstances.

However, now he'd have to be blunt for Andrew to understand.

"Condition meaning...meaning that we get sick," tried Remus.

Andrew still looked lost.

"When I say 'condition' I'm talking about how we're werewolves. It's a condition."

"The papers my mum signed at the hospital said it was a curse," Andrew replied.

Remus folded his arms trying to come up with a response to validate his description of it being a condition rather than a curse. However, he came up short.

"Well, it really is a curse...but calling it a 'condition' sounds a lot better, yeah?" Remus said with a half-smile.

Andrew beamed and nodded at Remus.

"I like that. Condition. I like that a lot more than 'curse,' whispered Andrew.

"Good. Well, I have to get on to my own room, but I'll visit you in the morning, alright?"

Andrew nodded vigorously, a flicker of fear in his eyes. Remus didn't miss it. He pointed a finger at Andrew.

"It's alright to be afraid. It doesn't make you a coward. Just know, before you get too afraid, that it'll all be over in a few hours. Yeah?" Remus confirmed.

Andrew nodded again, his fingers gripping the photo of him and his family so tight that his knuckles were white.

"Goodnight, Andrew. Don't forget to put away that picture and your clothes."

"I won't, Remus."

With a final smile and nod Remus began the trek to his cell.

"To your cells, please!" a Healer called out.

Various occupants made their way inside their cells. Remus included.

He stepped inside and leaned against the padded wall. Remus' head pounded while he awaited the arrival of a Healer to close his door.

Finally, the young Healer Madame Higgins had been speaking with appeared.

"Goodnight, Mr. Lupin."

"Goodnight..." Remus said prompting her to introduce herself.

"Victoria."

"Goodnight, Victoria. Sorry for not knowing your name," he chuckled.

"You wouldn't. This is my first and only night," she said, shutting the door.

Remus blinked, brows raised in confusion. What had she meant by that?

He stood in the center of the cell taking in steady and deep breaths to help calm himself. It wasn't long now. Probably fifteen minutes, maybe less.

After about two minutes of drawing in relaxing breaths, Remus began to remove his shirt and shoes. As he started to take off his pants the door to his cell opened. Remus looked up and ceased the process of removing his trousers.

"Hello?" he said with a confused expression.

Victoria cautiously stepped in, looking both ways behind her. Probably making sure that no Healers saw her enter. After all, it was a risky time to be near a werewolf. So close to the moon.

"Is there an issue?" asked Remus.

Victoria turned her back to him and pushed the heavy door shut. She shook her head.

"You really shouldn't be here. I don't mean to tell you how to do your job but...but you really should not be here, Victoria," Remus said as calmly as he could manage.

Victoria faced him, that's when he noticed her eyes. They were dark and sinister with a deep, long scar running horizontally beneath them.

But it wasn't your run of the mill scar. That was a scar that was cursed and somehow, Remus knew exactly what it had come from. That was a scar she received from a werewolf. He shuddered but maintained steady eye contact. Had she been attacked?

Or...quite possibly...was she a werewolf herself? Victoria had come off rather odd, perhaps this was why.

"Remus, you're coming with me," she said cordially. "Tonight is your first night."

His brows furrowed, perplexed. Then it hit him.

Greyback.


	12. Chapter 12-Trial One

**Chapter 12**

**Trial One**

Victoria stepped forward, grabbed Remus' arm and with a sudden crack, they were gone and in the middle of what appeared to be an abandoned suburb. Beneath them was a sewer grate. Victoria knelt before it, wrenching the grate up then casting it aside.

"In," she ordered, gesturing to the small, rectangular hole.

Remus stared blankly. This was all happening so fast. Where was this place? What was Greyback about to do? How long did he have until the moon reached its zenith?

"Get a move on, Lupin. We've only got twelve minutes. In," Victoria said in a low voice.

Swiftly, Remus sat on the edge of the opening into the sewer, then lowered himself. Dangling by his fingers tips, Remus let himself fall. The drop was only a yard, but he still fell backwards onto the damp floor. Remus coughed, the wind knocked from his chest. Pebbles and loose gravel stuck to him. His back screamed in pain from the sudden drop and the aching of pre-transformation didn't help.

He bit back a scream and slowly sat up to see Victoria fall from above and land lithely on her feet. She walked to Remus, face barely illuminated but a look of cool complacency still visible. Victoria extended her hand to him. It was also etched with scars.

"Get up. There's not much time."

Remus accepted her hand and stood to his feet, eyes drooping with exhaustion.

Victoria flicked her wand sending out white balls of light that lit flames to the torches clinging to the walls. Before them was a large hallway, and though it was dimly lit by the fire from the torches you could still make out that it was part of an underground sewer system. For a moment he wondered where all the rats were, then realized that if this underground facility was used for what he presumed it was then rats would not be a problem. Not if ravenous werewolves were eating them every month.

Remus' feet that had been getting stuck with stray gravel slowly felt better. The path seemed to be evolving from rubble into smooth stone.

This was not just Greyback's hiding place, this was Greyback's headquarters.

Remus' head pounded. The sound of voices ahead heightened by his inner wolf echoed off the walls.

"We're almost there," Victoria said calmly.

He hadn't noticed before but she was gripping his upper arm tightly. Most men would feel emasculated by this, but Remus frankly didn't care. Not right now at least. There were more pressing matters at hand. Like the fact that he was being dragged into the depths of Greyback's headquarters to face some terrible horror. Something that would no doubt be good for The Order and devastating for him.

"Who else is here? Others of us from the sanctuary?" Remus asked breathlessly.

"First, you're the only outsider tonight. Second, there is no 'us.' I'm not a werewolf."

Her second statement was filled with lament. Why though?

_'Surely she doesn't want to...'_ Remus thought.

"In case you're wondering, I want to be a werewolf, yes."

Remus deduced that his perplexed expression gave his confusion away. Normally he would have hid his candor well, however the excruciating pain of the oncoming moon was distracting him.

"I have to prove myself worthy though, first," she grumbled. "The scar across my eyes and all over my hands was the first way to prove myself. You're the second."

They finally arrived in a rounded room of the cellar lit solely by tall lamps much like the ones that had been shined in Remus' face during the first abduction. Greyback stood on what appeared to be a precipice of steps in front of a large crowd. Each person completely nude with scars covering their backs.

Greyback had his arms folded and gazed out at the crowd. Victoria waved her free hand, getting his attention. His dark eyes fell on her and Remus, a sinister smile breaking on his face. Greyback motioned for them to come forward and join him.

"C'mon then. You've got about eight minutes, Lupin."

Victoria shoved through the nude crowd wordlessly, tugging Remus behind her. She reached the foot of the stairs and released Remus from her grasp. Victoria gestured towards the steps that led to Greyback, who gazed down at Remus. Greyback extended his hand to Remus as though he were greeting an old friend. He fought off a sneer and accepted the hand of the one man he couldn't bring himself to forgive.

Once at his side, Greyback gave Remus a gruff pat on the back and looked down to Victoria who stared up at him with a sort of masked admiration.

"No trouble then, Victoria?" asked Greyback.

Victoria shook her head, brushing her hands off on her Healer uniform.

"One of the Head Healers questioned me a bit about not having paperwork, but I told her it would be in tomorrow. If you need me to return, a simple _'obliviate'_ charm will get me back in," Victoria stated casually.

"Very good. You've passed your second test. Now, dismiss yourself before we change."

"Yes, Master."

Victoria excused herself, promptly shoving through the crowd.

Remus felt a sudden wave of heat go over him at Greyback's term for transformation.

'Change' he had said. As if they were simply altering their physique before becoming something different. To Remus the term 'change' insinuated there was only a small difference between him and the wolf.

_'Change' means changing out of your dirty clothes, not shifting your physical form into an animal with predatory instincts that lead to murder and bloodshed,' _thought Remus, a cold sweat breaking out on his forehead.

Greyback faced the crowd of werewolves that trembled in what appeared to be eager anticipation, not anxiety.

"Brothers! Sisters! I'd like to introduce you to the possible new member of our Fellowship. This is Remus Lupin," said Greyback placing his rough hands on Remus' shoulders.

Remus swallowed and forced himself to meet the eyes of the crowd with a somewhat composed expression. He hoped it would make him come off as calm and unafraid.

"Tonight, Remus will be attending our Joint Change."

Animalistic howls of approval sounded over the mass of still human werewolves. Remus fended off another shudder that threatened to go down his spine.

"Now, Remus, I'm sure you'll enjoy this. Together we transform. We do not isolate ourselves and hide from the world in a confined space. No! We rejoice and change together! We embrace our inner animal instincts."

Remus panted, the transformation, stress and exhaustion beginning to affect him. He had maybe five minutes.

"By that I mean, we run! We pleasure one another! We fight!" Greyback said, addressing his followers more than Remus.

He looked back to Remus with a grin that reflected a sick sort of pride and satisfaction.

"This is trial one, Little Lupin."

"Now, Remus, I'll admit to you, not all of us will make it to dawn. It's a simple fact. As predators we do battle one another to the death. This is no reason to mourn though! This is how we sort out the weak from the strong. How we build our army for the Dark Lord and conquer!"

Remus banished the urge to flee. To apparate back to the sanctuary where he would be safe. There was no turning back. Not if he was to gain Greyback's trust. He really had to commit to showing Greyback that he wanted to work with him. To divide and conquer with him. What choice did he have in the end?

A wave of pain wrenched inside of Remus causing him to collapse on his knees. He hugged his sides and felt the tremors go down his spine.

Through the thrumming in his ears he heard Greyback speak to him in a low voice.

"...now...your turn...Lupin...embrace...inner animal...triumphant..." was all he could make out.

He heard the muffled cries of pain from the crowd...except they weren't so much in pain as they were full of fulfillment. Glee even.

_'I can't. I can't kill anyone. Please, please don't let me kill anyone. I would rather die. Oh, please no,' _Remus thought, hunched over and tears leaking from his eyes.

The thought of quickly apparating away ran through his mind. He couldn't though, not in this state. No. Greyback would notice. Remus had to be there in the morning when everyone woke. Hopefully, Mungos would assume that he'd already left before they checked in on him.

_'Keep ahold of yourself. Keep ahold of yourself. Maybe it'll be different this time. Maybe just this once you can keep your humanity even as a beast,'_ Remus told himself.

And it was over. He could hold on no more. The wolf was in control and Remus Lupin would be gone until morning.

_THAT FOLLOWING MORNING:_

Remus gasped awake. His head pounded and his body ached. Slowly his blurred vision settled and his surroundings became clear.

Early morning light streamed in from lines in the ceiling illuminating the mass of naked bodies before him. Light posts that had stood last night and aided everyone to see were fallen.

_'The headquarters... Greyback's headquarters... Erm...Victoria. Transformation...fighting...death...'_ Remus recalled.

He froze when he remembered that final word. Last night Greyback had informed Remus that not all of them would make it to morning. Some would be killed by others and reveal the strongest of The Fellowship.

_'I'm alive...'_ he thought with a sigh of relief.

Then it hit him. Had he survived by killing another?

_'No. No. Don't let me have killed anyone. Please don't have let me killed someone...'_

With caution, Remus slowly brought his hands up to his eyes-uncertain as to if he would see the blood of another wolf.

Remus did not see blood on his hands. He saw blood all over his body.


	13. Chapter 13-Black and White

**Chapter 13**

**Black and White**

Remus did not see blood on his hands. He saw blood all over his body.

It was on his hands. His arms. His chest. His legs.

Remus' eyes widened as he shook with terror at the sight before him.

It was the first time that Remus had awoken from a transformation with blood on him that wasn't his. In his younger years when he had transformed at home and would escape the basement his parents would find him in the morning surrounded by the carcasses of woodland animals. His face and hands covered in blood. He'd only witnessed it once though. Usually his parents or Madame Pomfrey would clean off the blood before he would return to consciousness.

It was not squirrel, rabbit, deer or sheep blood on him now. It was the blood of another werewolf. Remus' chest felt tight. His eyes darted about the large room full of unconscious humans that had been werewolves less than an hour ago.

How many were sleeping? How many were dead?

_'Apparate back to Mungos. Quickly! You don't have time for anything else!'_ he thought frantically.

But he wanted to know whose blood was on him. He had to find out if they were wounded or dead.

_'Greyback will know if you did. When he finds you next you'll find out. Do you want to blow this? Get out! What will Mungos think when they see your cell is locked with no one in it? With clothes gone and your bag still there. You're wand is in there! They'll know something's wrong!'_

Inhaling through his nose, Remus brought himself to stand.

_'Hurry! Clean yourself up and leave, Remus!'_ a voice inside of him cried out.

With all the steadiness he could manage in his frail, trembling frame he stepped over and around the werewolves before him. Some were covered in blood, some were devoid of such but more horrifying was how peaceful they all seemed. Even in sleep after a moon Remus would tremble. They all rested as though they'd finished a hard day's work.

Stepping over a rather large man, Remus found himself almost stumbling on top of another woman. She was painted in red.

Even if Remus had fallen on her it wouldn't have mattered. She was dead. Her chest bone leaked blood steadily and more oozed from the corner of her mouth.

Suppressing a gag, Remus hopped over three more bodies lithely, before falling forward onto the damp, stone floor. He scrambled to his feet, panting and started down the hall. It was black and desolate. He would have to wing it exiting.

"Little Lupin," a gruff voice sounded.

Remus' head snapped to his right to see Greyback leaning against the wall in the shadows. He wore nothing but his long coat. Remus stood as tall as possible, inhaling rhythmically to hide the increasing tremors down his spine.

"You fared well last night," he said with a nod of approval.

Remus felt his heart stop. He'd killed someone. Perhaps...that young woman?

"Well, you didn't kill anyone but regardless, you defended yourself well. Nothing to show for a fight but that on your neck," murmured Greyback.

Remus fought the urge to touch his neck and find the wound Greyback was referring to, but he managed it all the same.

"I don't-erm-Do you-whose...whose blood is this?" Remus stammered as nonchalant as possible.

Greyback shrugged and removed a ball of fabric from within his coat.

"Not sure, but I know you didn't kill anyone. A man who'd killed another wolf last night would be covered in much more blood and many, many more wounds. What you wear now is nothing compared to the bloodshed of death," shrugged Greyback.

He thrust the ball of fabric to Remus casually. Remus caught it and stared down at it curiously.

Pants.

"Can't have those Healers at Mungos catching on. Get dressed and apparate back," Greyback said looking out at the mass of nude followers.

The expression on his face was that of a father looking out on his children as they were sleeping soundly. In a way, he looked proud. Something churned within Remus. It was not only the normal nausea he got after a moon. It was more. It was foul and deep and hurt his heart. The bodies before him, broken, filthy and almost lifeless looked like something from a nightmare. How Greyback could gaze upon them with such pride simply didn't compute with Remus. As despicable as this man was, did he really relish in the death and destruction of those loyal to him?

"Trial number two," Greyback said as Remus pulled his pants on.

Remus swallowed, heart pounding in his ears as he waited for Greyback's instructions.

_'Please don't ask me to kill one of them,'_ thought Remus, fighting off a look of desperation.

"Down that hall is a bowl of water with a rag. You can use it to wipe most of the blood off of yourself. However, that hallway is pitch black and I have no intentions of fetching Victoria to guide you or lighting the way. Use what's left of your visual, animal instincts and find your way out of here."

Remus blinked. Could he do that? Access his werewolf? Use its vision.

"Don't think, just do it. We don't have time to wait anyway. The Healers will notice your absence."

Remus buttoned his trousers and slowly looked to the long, dark hallway from where he had entered last night. He blinked hard, squinting into the pitch black ahead. Remus struggled and hoped this night vision would kick in. He still maintained the wolf's hearing. At least for the next few hours. Maybe it was possible to access the wolf's vision.

"Go!" Greyback hissed.

His hand hit Remus on the upper back firmly, thrusting him into the darkness. Remus looked over his shoulder and saw the silhouette of Greyback. He stood erectly, arms crossed awaiting Remus' success or failure.

Remus tried to walk straight down the hall, convinced that he'd eventually make it to the other side, but the straight walk he had made last night with Victoria now seemed slightly skewed.

_'You were almost at mid-transformation, you ponce! You didn't know up from down!_' a voice snapped within.

Remus shut his eyes tight, balling up his fists.

He mentally counted down from three to open his eyes though most of him didn't want to. If he opened his eyes and the wolf allowed him to see in the dark, he was that much more like Greyback. If he opened his eyes and couldn't see a thing, all he had been working towards would be shot. Granted he hadn't been working at it that long it would still be a great loss.

'_You should have just apparated right from that den. Apparated straight to Mungos. Too late now. Now you have to pass Greyback's test,'_ he thought.

Then he opened his eyes and gasped at the sight before him. Everything was visible. White and grey and specks of black. This was it. Remus hadn't realized that he had been hunched over until that moment. He slowly raised up as the world around him became clear as day. He could see everything. The large, brick walls with miniscule chunks missing sporadically. Water dripping from the ceiling. A cobweb up in the corner to his right where no spider lurked.

Slowly, Remus looked over his shoulder to see Greyback. He could make his silhouette out completely. He could see his long jacket, the hair that covered his body, his long and frizzy hair. His eyes were not black though. They were two white orbs that seemed to scrutinize him. Finally, Greyback was smiling. He nodded slowly in approval.

"You've passed trial number two, little Lupin. We'll meet again soon," Greyback said just loud enough for Remus to hear.

He was grateful for Greyback's consideration to the sensitivity of his hearing. Not grateful to Greyback himself, of course.

In a mere four minutes, Remus had made it to the end of the tunnel and back to the grate entrance that he had dropped through last night.

Just beneath it, in the light of early morning light lay a large bowl with a grey rag in it. Upon seeing the light Remus' vision slowly faded back to human. He knelt before the bowl and submerged the entire rag in the water. He brought it back up and began to wring the excess water out on his body, scrubbing at the sticky blood with trembling hands. It seemed glued to his skin even though the blood was coming off easily. There was a long gash down his left forearm, blood oozed from it steadily. There was no fixing that.

Eventually all the blood came clean. Remus' pallid skin was devoid of any blood that wasn't coming from his own wounds.

Now he could finally apparate out of Greyback's headquarters. Remus could get back to Mungos and pretend it all never happened. Well, until he told Dumbledore of course.

At Mungos, everyone seemed to either not care or had forgotten Victoria. Nobody said a word about her to Remus at least. Either Victoria had already used the memory charm on them last night or they simply weren't concerned. The Healer named Yvonne who worked once a month appeared in Remus' cell to bandage his wounds. Much to his relief, she did not seem suspicious or terribly concerned. Probably because she had spent many years here and seen much worse. That or her age was catching up to her sense of awareness in a negative way.

When Remus arrived at the Order's safe-house, he couldn't help but stumble through the door. The façade he had worn out of Mungos when he'd said goodbye to Andrew and the Healers had been that of someone who could hold large amounts of liquor. Now though, he was fumbling and trembling. Eyes drooping and hand gripping his bandaged forearm that had blood seeping through the gauze. He was more exhausted mentally than physically. Though his mentality definitely wasn't assisting his strength.

Looking down the front hall he saw Lily sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over some parchment and scrawling furiously.

He walked with dragging feet into the living room and felt Lily's eyes upon him as she finally noticed his abnormal behavior.

"Remus, are you alright?" she called.

"Mmhm," Remus murmured as loud as he could.

Remus trudged to the living room. James sat on the weathered couch speaking with Sirius who sat opposite him in a large, blue armchair.

James met Remus' eyes and smiled. The smile slowly faded as he recognized the fatigue in Remus' steps and the evident mental exhaustion in his eyes.

"Moony? Are you alright?" James asked in a slightly alarmed tone.

Sirius' head whipped around, dark soft locks framing his face.

"What happened?" Sirius blinked as he watched Remus stagger to the other red armchair and collapse into it.

Remus held up a single finger and sighed.

"Trials one and two were last night."

Remus heard the scraping of the chair in the kitchen. Lily had been listening and was now alarmed. She walked into the living room, hand resting on her stomach as she sat beside James on the couch.

"Remus, tell us what happened, love?" Lily said, brows furrowed.

Remus explained what had happened with Victoria and Greyback and how he had wounded another werewolf. It had been with great hesitation that he'd told them about trial number two. Remus was still ashamed of the fact that he had accessed his inner wolf for Greyback.

"Remus, you didn't have a choice. Greyback might have killed you if you didn't do as he said," Sirius said with a look of intense sensitivity and understanding.

Sirius knew Remus well enough to understand what he was thinking. Sirius knew that Remus was worried about him, Lily and James negatively judging him for acquiescing to Greyback's desires. It was important he knew otherwise.

"Yes, Remus. You did exactly what you should have," James nodded in agreement.

"James and Sirius are right, Remus. You did exactly what you had to. Nobody blames you."

"I could have killed someone, Lily."

There was a pause and all eyes were on Remus.

"Well, I'm going to bed. I've got work tomorrow."

"Moony, why don't you quit? It's not like you have to pay rent anymore? You could really use the rest!"

"We still need to eat, Sirius. I can't pay for you to buy a bird a drink if I'm unemployed. Plus, I've already cut back to part time," yawned Remus.

He walked towards the steps that led to the second floor where his bedroom resided.

"Sirius, does Remus buy all your food?" he heard Lily hiss.

James snickered.

"I'm working on getting a job, Evans. Mind your own business," grumbled Sirius in a childish tone.

James laughed louder making Remus cringe as he trudged upstairs. Despite the ringing in his ears he couldn't help but smile. His friends. Their adventures. The fact Sirius was trying to get a job. Something he never had. The Potters had always kept James and Sirius in a moderately lavish lifestyle, though Sirius had refused it almost immediately after graduating Hogwarts.

After he'd left Hogwarts something in him had shifted. Sirius had almost overnight morphed into an adult. James, though much more thoughtful than he had been in his formative years, clung to his parents for support. For a short time though. Just long enough to buy Lily a ring. Now he was fairly independent. Able to provide for Lily and himself more than adequately.

Remus' father was constantly depositing Galleons upon Galleons into his Gringott's account. Remus hardly noticed though, due to the fact that most of his earnings were spent in the Muggle world.

Remus considered himself to be fairly independent and compared to his friends he was. Sirius following immediately after of course and then Peter at the very bottom. Peter frequently lived with his parents instead of staying in his perfectly good flat (that his parents had bought him.)

Remus entered his bedroom and peeled off his t-shirt. He cast it aside and collapsed suddenly upon his bed with a loud grunt. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep. In sleep all his worries had disappeared. In sleep he was free of his curse. In sleep Remus Lupin felt infinite.


	14. Chapter 14-The Same Team

**Chapter 14**

**The Same Team**

Remus placed the book on Psychology in its correct place. It was a slow day at the bookstore, exactly what he needed. Climbing the ladder that rested against the bookcase he carried two books to the top shelf.

"Hey, Lupin!" a voice whispered loudly.

Remus looked to his right to see his boss, Nick jogging towards him. Nick looked over his broad shoulder and went to stand beneath Remus.

"Lupin, there's some girl here to see you. She's got some lunch for you I think. I told her I wasn't sure if you were still here if you want me to tell her to run along."

Remus blinked, dumbfounded. A girl? Lily? Marlene?

"So, shall I send her back here?"

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Remus shrugged.

"Yeah, send her back. Thanks, Nick."

Remus slid the books to their proper spots as Nick strolled back to the front of the store. He wracked his brain for all the possibilities of who this could be, however he was still worn from the moon and coming up short.

"Hey."

Remus turned his head to the voice, his brows raised high.

Dorcas.

"Oh, erm, hello, Doe."

Remus descended the ladder as Dorcas approached him. In her hand was a tin lunchbox, on her face a small smile. She held up the lunchbox before him. Slowly, Remus accepted it.

"It's not a bomb, Remus," sniggered Dorcas.

He laughed softly and opened the box, peering inside. There was a sandwich, two vials containing blue and white liquid, a bottle of muggle pain killers and a small flask. His eyes turned back to Dorcas who wore a small prideful grin. He laughed quietly.

"What's all this then?"

"Well, a sandwich for yere' lunch o' course. One vial o' potion for yere' nausea, one vial of potion for yere' headache an' some muggle pain killers in case ye' need a little extra relief."

"And the flask?"

"A little kick fer' those pills...or jus' a kick in general for ye'," she replied simply, though there was a wicked glint in her eyes.

"I'll make sure to consume that particular potion with responsibility," Remus chuckled.

"I have a feelin' if yere' boss saw ye' drinking he'd break ye' over his massive knee. He's a big fellow," she remarked under her breath. "However, he's pretty old."

A small smile spread on Remus' lips. Dorcas seemed to have a habit for thinking out loud and frankly, it was refreshing.

"When do ye' get done today?" asked Dorcas.

Remus removed the two vials from the lunchbox.

"Oh, erm, four," he replied uncorking the vials and tossing them back.

He placed them back in the lunchbox and shut the clasp.

"Good, I'll meet ye' at that muggle cafe three blocks from ere'. I have a proposition fer' ye'."

Remus swallowed, his eyes widening. His jaw started to drop but he managed to shut it. He could tell that Dorcas was amused by his stunned reaction. Finally, he summoned the courage to nod in confirmation. Dorcas grinned, turned on her heel and started off.

"Cheers, Remus!"

Dumbfounded, Remus held the lunchbox in his hands trying to figure out what had just happened. Had Dorcas Meadowes just asked him out on a date? Surely not. She had said she'd had a 'proposition' for him. That was not what a date was about. A wave of relief washed over him momentarily.

_'What if the proposition is we go on a date?'_ Remus thought, his grip on the lunchbox tightening.

"What have I gotten myself into?" murmured Remus setting the lunchbox on the book cart and rolling his eyes.

And though he felt a looming presence of fear about being in the company of a girl, there was excitement building deep within him. The corner of his lip tilted up and he grabbed another misplaced book off the cart. He tossed the book up in the air and caught it with a soft laugh. For the first time in a few days he felt as though fate had smiled upon him.

*O*o*O*

When four rolled around it finally registered with Remus what was about to happen. His heart seemed to pound outside of his chest. What was he doing? A poor werewolf about to have a coffee with a beautiful and talented witch? Why had he said yes? It was too late to turn back though. Too late indeed. Dorcas was waiting for him.

"So, are you gonna go meet that girl for a coffee, Lupin?" Nick asked, thumbing through a thick book.

"Yeah, I am actually."

"She was a pretty thing. Have fun with her. See you the day after tomorrow," he smiled.

"Cheers, Nick."

Remus left the store and began the trek to the cafe. In his head he rehearsed how he would greet her. Should he be charming? No, cordial. This was a business meeting, wasn't it?

_'Just be friendly. Say: hello, Dorcas. Then shake her hand!'_

Remus groaned and shook his head.

_'Do __**not**__ shake her hand! Why would you shake her hand? Maybe I should hug her... No. That's too forward. I don't know her well enough to engage in that sort of physical greeting.'_

The walk to the cafe seemed much faster than ever before. He stepped inside and took a deep breath, his eyes scanning the room for Dorcas. Sure enough, she sat in the back beside the window. In front of her was a tea pot and two tea cups. She stared out the window with a somber look on her face. Remus wondered what she was thinking about.

With a long and slow exhale, Remus made his way through the cafe, maneuvering around tables and chairs with mumbled 'sorry's.

"Hi," Remus said arriving at her table.

She smiled up at him.

Before he could help it, Remus extended his hand to her. Dorcas eyed it with an amused expression and gently shook it. Remus couldn't help but close his eyes in embarrassment.

He hung his messenger bag over the back of the chair and sat down before her.

Taking a sip of her tea she gestured to the tea pot before.

"I got i' fer' the both of us. Help yer'self."

In a hasty movement, Remus snatched the tea pot and poured himself a cup. Dorcas snickered and covered her mouth to hide her smile. He looked at her, flushing slightly.

"So, you said you had a proposition for me..." Remus murmured.

"Yeah. So, I'll be blunt. I know Dumbledore has ye' spyin' on Greyback."

"What makes you think that?" he asked, taken aback.

"Well, it doesn't take a bloody genius to figure out tha' Greyback is werkin' with Voldemort. Why wouldn't e' get werewolves on his side for such war?" she whispered.

Remus' eyes narrowed.

"War?"

"Let's not kid ourselves, Remus. This plannin'and spyin'? It's only the beginnin'. This is gonna get ugly and not all of us are gonna make it out alive."

She wasn't wrong. Remus knew that. He'd known that for a while actually. Often the thought of Sirius, James, Lily and Peter dying would cross his mind and he'd find himself sick to his stomach.

"So, what is your proposition?" Remus questioned clearing his throat.

"I can help ye'."

Remus raised a brow, curious. Then he figured it out.

_'She works with a lot of werewolves... A lot of newly turned and those injured by them...' _he deduced.

"I see a lot of werewolves in the Curse Induced Injury Ward. An increasin' amount as a matter o' fact. I can help ye'. I can get ye' infermation'. Tell ye' whose been attacked, where they are from, etcetera."

The offer was intriguing. Useful too. Remus was in no position to turn down help.

"I know ye' need my help, Remus," she said as though answering his thoughts. "Those wounds ye're sportin' today. Those bruises. That's not from a run o' the mill full moon. Ye' were attacked. Ye' were with other werewolves yesterday. Greyback's werewolves, I reckon."

Before he could stop himself, Remus blurted.

"How do you know everything about me?" he smiled wryly. "I've spent my entire life able to hide my darkest secrets from the world. Then you show up and know everything."

A grin broke out on Dorcas' face and she stared into her tea cup. She shrugged and gave him a knowing look.

"To me, ye're an open book. I know things ye' don't even want me to know. I'm sure if I were to tell ye' them all ye-"

"Tell me."

Dorcas raised her brows at Remus and took a long sip of her tea.

"Ye' want me to tell ye' everythin' I know about ye'? Everythin' I've figured out."

"Absolutely. I'm intrigued now," he replied.

Dorcas leaned back and folded her arms, eyeing him.

"Alrigh', ye' asked fer' it."

Remus braced himself, heart beating in anticipation and excitement. Funny enough, he was enjoying this.

"Ye' love books. I've known tha' about ye' since our third year. Ye' spend a lot o' time in the muggle world fer' fear tha' someone will figure ye' out. Ye' worry too much, ye' bite yere' nails, ye' love swing music and ye' are right handed. How was tha'?"

Remus could only blink he was so astonished. She had been right in every category. What's more was that Dorcas hadn't brought up anything about him being a werewolf. Even more of a relief was that she hadn't guessed how attractive he found her.

"And ye' think I'm pretty," she added.

Remus felt his face turn bright red. Panic surged through him and he found his jaw opening and closing with no noise coming out.

"I know ye're not in love with me, Remus. People can find someone pretty and not be in love with em', ye' know?" she snickered.

Remus cleared his throat again, and leaned back in his chair. Dorcas looked at him, entertained by how anxious he was.

"So, erm-explain to me how you know that-erm-that stuff," Remus said, his voice cracking.

"I know ye' like books because not a day went by at Hogwarts tha' I didn't see ye' readin'. I know ye' spend a lot of time in the muggle world because ye' have a job at a muggle bookstore and I can't name the las' time I saw ye' at Hogsmeade or in Diagon Alley. Obviously, the reason is because ye' don't want anyone knowin' what ye' are. I know ye' worry too much because of the little grey hairs ye' have, also what werewolf isn't worried?" she snorted.

Remus laughed quietly, himself.

"Also, I looked at ye're nails, they're uneven. Not cleanly cut. Sirius pointed out the music ye' like at the firs' Order meetin' and I saw ye' dance to swing music more than anythin' else at the Yule Ball our fifth year. Also, there's ink on the side of ye're right hand. And I know ye' think I'm pretty because ye're always blushin' when ye' see me."

"Whoa," Remus grinned.

Dorcas smiled smugly and poured them both more tea.

"So, do ye' accept my proposition?" asked Dorcas, raising a brow.

Remus drummed his fingers on the table and exhaled. There were many things to consider. For one, this could be putting Dorcas in danger. If she was found out for delivering information by a werewolf working with Voldemort, she would be dead. Or worse, in danger of being infected by one of Greyback's followers. Also, Sirius, James, Lily and Peter already knew the details of his endeavors. Another person was definitely a risk of him being found out. Of someone figuring out that he was a spy. Of everyone in the Order realizing that he was a werewolf.

A more probing question: why was she doing this? What did Dorcas stand to gain from helping him? An ally? A favor? What?

"I'm just curious, why would you do this for me? What's in it for you?" asked Remus.

Dorcas stared at him, nonplussed.

"Well, we're on the same side. We want the same thing. If I can help a member of the Order I try to. The only way we're gonna make it out of this mess alive, is if we work together. If we trust each other. Yeah?" Dorcas said as though explaining a difficult lesson.

The answer was simple. Simple and honest...and kind. She had a lot on her plate what with working as a Healer and participating in her own work for the Order and now she wanted to load this onto herself.

"Remus, it's not tha' difficult to understand. We want the same thing, righ'? So if I can do this one little thing fer' ye', why shouldn't I?"

"Dorcas, this could put you in serious danger."

"I'm already in danger," she laughed. "Do ye' want my help or not?"

Remus peered at her for a moment. Those icy blue eyes, so deep and probing. So direct and kind. While Remus felt they were diving into his soul and reading him, he also felt like he could trust Dorcas. Something about her smile and her voice radiated honesty and warmth. After another pause, Remus sighed.

"Alright, if you're sure. If it becomes too dangerous though, let me know and you can drop the whole thing."

Dorcas extended her hand.

"Alrigh', deal."

"Deal," Remus agreed, accepting her hand.

Dorcas adjusted herself to sit up straighter in her chair and sighed.

"So, tell me about yere' favorite book."

"Erm...what?"

"Ye' have to have one. What is it?"

Remus tried to shake himself from this trance. Was she really asking him this? Why? Hadn't they already finished business? This was starting to feel like a date.

"Hm, it's not anythin' from the wizardin' world... Ye' enjoy readin' books that teach ye' about stuff foreign to ye'. Ye' know everythin' about magic... So, it's a muggle book... Not romance... Not fantasy... Ye're much too practical..."

Remus felt the corner of his lip hitch up as she studied him further, her eyes narrowed as she scrutinized every inch of his face.

"Ugh! Okay, it's a work of practical fiction written by a muggle... Am I righ'?" asked Dorcas eagerly.

Remus nodded, taking a gulp of his tea.

"Brave New World. Aldous Huxley," Remus replied.

"I was gonna guess Great Expectations," she mumbled.

"What about you, Doe? What's your favorite book?"

"Ye'd never guess in a million years."

"See, you've given yourself away. It's a muggle book. You never thought I'd guess that."

Dorcas cocked her head to the side, studying him with a speculative gaze.

"Normally, I would guess Jane Austen or Emily Bronte but you're more complex than that. You read poetry a lot. That's not your go to though. You'd think your favorite poet would be someone haunted and eerie like Edgar Allen Poe, but you aren't as tough as you seem. You like Emily Dickinson."

Dorcas shrugged, a small smile on her lips. Remus could tell he was doing well.

"I can't really guess your favorite, but I'm sure it's a biography. You like people and getting inside their heads. Am I right?" he tested.

Dorcas slowly leaned forward.

"Yes, abou' Emily Dickinson. No, abou' biographies. I _do_ like biographies but they are not my faverite'."

Remus' jaw tightened and he ran his hand through his hair.

_'One out of two, not bad!'_

"Like I said, Remus, ye'll never guess. Maybe one day I'll tell ye'," she whispered.

Remus took a small drink of his tea and smiled ever so slightly. This conversation, this outing. It all felt so normal. So right. It was easy to talk to Dorcas. She didn't ask difficult questions or interrogate him about being a werewolf. She simply talked to him. Solely interested in what he had to say. A kindness only extended to him by his truest of friends. Remus' eyes glanced down at his wristwatch then back up to Dorcas. A barely perceptible frown appeared on her lips.

"Ye' need to go?" she asked.

Remus shook his head.

"I can spare some more time. So, how's your time as a Healer? Everything you hoped it would be?"

Remus and Dorcas conversed for three more hours. Eventually, the tea was forgotten and they stopped requesting refills of hot water. Dorcas seemed to be thoroughly enjoying Remus' probing questions as he was enamored with her answers. Each was so detailed and complex. This person who had changed from a gawky, awkward girl into a beautiful, kind and brave young woman was becoming less and less of an enigma. Each layer of her self-consciousness removed by the minute.

*Sorry it took so long. My computer was continuing to be dumb. Let me know how you like it!*


End file.
